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Archive for the ‘Economy’ Category

George ‘Make it Rain’ Bush Spends $11.5 Trillion

1/19/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Economy, Politics, US

It ain’t fair to put this all on that crazy cowboy from Texas, but studies indicate that the United States spent about $11.5 trillion—that is correct, eleven thousand and five hundred billion—during the presidency of George W Bush. If you weren’t quite sure, that is (a lot) more than ever before. And while I would like to do some kind of fun little exercise to explain how many _____s you could have bought with that money, no adequate or understandable comparisons can be made.

As you might have guessed, a lot went into setting this kind of a record, from a total economic collapse on Wall Street in late 2008, to that devastating terrorist attack back in 2001 and its successive wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Yet perhaps the most important factor to note is that such spending is not about to come to a screeching halt in the months and years after president-elect Barack Obama’s inauguration on January 20th, 2009. While the next pres has aspirations of recovering the American economy, it’s true that he too will be forced to adhere to that age-old proverb: “you gotta spend money to make money.” And so, while $11.5 trillion dollars is undoubtedly a sh*tload of money, the numbers are sure to continue rising while the national debt skids closer to that inevitable point at which most citizens start scratching their heads and wondering, ‘does this number actually mean anything or can we just keep not making money forever?’

In other news, today is the last day during which news articles will refer to Barack Obama as the ‘president-elect.’ Yay-yay! *terrorist fist bump*

And Now, for the First Time: Toyota Reports Losses

12/23/08 - Posted by Matt Gierhart under Economy

While the U.S. auto market is in the process of working out the details of receiving their government bailout, the Japanese auto industry is taking a hit as well. Toyota is reporting its first losses in 70 years. The auto company’s has experienced expansive growth over the past few years, largely due to the Prius gas-electric hybrid car, but even the hype of hybrid cars are no match for a dwindling economy.

The good news: no layoffs. Toyota has a history of not cutting full time jobs, even in some tough times and they are showing no signs of a reduction in full time jobs. That includes the 36,600 employees in the U.S. The bad news: it doesn’t include the part-time workers. So temps, watch out!

In spite of Toyota’s loss, they are still poised to overtake General Motors as the world’s leading car makers for 2008. Toyota began the year outselling GM by almost 400,000 cars at the beginning of the year. Since last month record low in car sales it’s not looking likely that GM will be able to match Toyota in the eight days remaining of the year. We imagine the celebration party of being the world’s leading car maker the same day as reporting losses of 1.66 billion dollars isn’t a little more sparkling wine rather than champagne. But there’s always next year, right? Nope, Toyota projects 2009 to be an even worse year. Pack that in with the weak dollar at a 13 year low against the Yen and auto maker analyst Tsuyoshi Mochimaru starts saying things like “[the reports are] unmistakable that things are extremely tough for Toyota.”

A Chrysler Christmas

12/18/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy, US

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound? If Chrysler halts production and no one had their heart set on a 2010 LeBaron, did it actually happen? The answer to both of those questions is unequivocally “yes!”

The automobile manufacturer who also controls both the Dodge and Jeep brands has announced they’ll be halting their assembly operation for the month of January, placing the blame on “”continued lack of consumer credit for the American car buyer” as the reason for the measure. The move makes them the final of the big three U.S. automakers to do so. The halt will give 46,000 employees a hefty dose of free time this holiday season as the last day of work for all 30 of the company’s plants will be this Friday. The earliest the employees might return is January 19th, but it’s all dependent on the progress of the Bush Administration’s attempts to solidify a bailout plan.

Sounds like Chrysler workers will get plenty of time to go on an awesome holiday vacation provided they actually have enough money to do so, which they probably don’t. On the bright side, the employees will be receiving paychecks, though not for their full amount, thanks to a combination from contributions from State Unemployment and the Chrysler Corporation. While it’s slightly hard to believe, Chrysler dealers have said that demand for their product is high, and that one of the main hindrances to sales has been “a lack of financing.” That just goes to show you, not everyone has the luxury of being SAVED BY ZERO.

Bailout Failout

12/12/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy

Not so many days ago, the auto industry hopped in their 2003 Ford Aerostar and high tailed it to Washington D.C. to reap the benefits of a $14 Billion bailout. They packed light as they were going to need plenty of the minivan’s available rear storage space for the heaps of cash they were going to be bringing back to Detroit. Unfortunately, they forgot to stop for gas (a.k.a., love from the GOP), and were metaphorically forced to pull over to the side of the road when Congress nipped the plan to rescue the U.S.’s big three automakers in the bud.

Both the White House and Congressional Democrats had endorsed the move, but the plan’s demise was ultimately due to the refusal by many Republicans to back a measure that didn’t ensure that the United Auto Workers would accept wage cuts (which is some ways made their salaries resemble that of the U.S. workers toiling in the factories of Japanese carmakers). The bailout failure puts both GM and Chrysler on the brink of collapse despite Lee Iacocca’s fervent pleas to the American public to “buy a Chrysler!” Meanwhile, the current administration continues to seek alternatives to serve as savior to the cash strapped car companies, though President Bush probably just wishes he could close his eyes and wake up on January 20th.

US Economy Channels The 70’s

12/05/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy

Every thing old is new again– just ask retro-rocker Lenny Kravitz, who has made a career out of channeling the 1970’s. But Lenny’s not the only one putting the yes back in yesterday, as the entire work force of the United States is now going for that that 1974 look. No, they’re not putting on bell-bottoms and listening to The Guess Who on their way to the office … but they are out of their jobs in record numbers.

The 533,000 positions slashed this past November matched the largest one-month employment massacre in the U.S. since the final month of 1974, when 603,000 jobs disappeared into the economic abyss. In accordance with the eleven consecutive months of declining employment, the jobless rate now sits at 6.7%, the highest it’s been since 1994. Reacting to the news, President-elect Obama declared that things would get worse before they get better, but he also sees this as “… an opportunity to transform our economy to improve the lives of ordinary people by rebuilding roads and modernizing schools for our children.” And if that doesn’t happen, we can all take solace in knowing that the life of a boxcar hobo can be quite adventurous.

Mmm, Recessiony.

12/02/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Economy, US

After the Dow Jones’ lackluster revival of The Comeback Kid last week, the market suffered its fourth-worst-ever slide on Monday, dropping another 680 points and closing somewhere between disappointing and deplorable. Oh, you didn’t hear? We’re definitely in a recession now. Market analysts assessed the skid, noting that while it might normally take over a year for the total DJIA to increase by 1,000-plus points, it took only five days for it to do so at the end of November.

While Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson suggested the Bush administration would look for more ways to activate that pesky little $700 billion bailout thing from a few weeks ago, more than a few disheveled Wall Street professionals were overheard trying to get on the horn with Gordon Gekko—and, when that failed, Bud Fox—for some sage advice. Neither of the aforementioned financial experts was available for comment, but over here, we’re still convinced that the key to resolving this issue is in remembering that Blue Horseshoe loves Endicott Steel.

Tiger Loses Engine’s Roar

11/25/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy

GM execs probably haven’t given up on flying their private jets door-to-door in efforts to collect funds for this Winter’s anti-bankruptcy magazine and candy bar fundraiser, but they have found a way to cut around $7 million a year out of the budget.

Unfortunately, when $7 million gets saved someone has to feel the weight in their wallet disappear, and this time around that someone is Tiger Woods. Everyone’s favorite PGA Golf Superstar, who has carried a Buick logo on his bag o’clubs for the past nine years through 14 major championships, was said to have come to a mutual agreement with the automaker to end their endorsement deal a year before it was up. We’re not sure how Tiger will deal as he only has a video game franchise, a Nike deal, and several other endorsements to fall back on, but it’s possible he may have to get a job as a caddy at his local country club just to be able send his children to college and keep a roof over his incredibly attractive wife’s head.

On a positive note, he’ll finally get the chance to check out some of that high quality Japanese and German engineering he’s heard so much about.

Pump it like it’s 1999

11/24/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Economy

For the first time since the spring of 2005, the average price of gasoline dropped below two dollars, leading to a spike in the number of drop-top joyriders over the weekend. Reports of drivers flooring it on the highway and idling outside the grocery store inundated nightly news programming, and national suicide-by-asphyxiation rates also hit record highs as the method reemerged as the cheapest available alternative to high-priced prescription drug overdoses.

Dropping over 30 cents in two weeks, the significant decline in prices at the pump is attributed to a crash on the price of crude oil worldwide. Lundberg Survey officials suggest that the price well is a clear component of the current economic crisis. All is not lost for big oil companies, however; Trilby Lundberg, editor of the survey, said that “the end of this price crash is either here or near.” So, if you’re one of those bomb shelter stockpile people, now might be the time to cash in those chips and go on a petroleum shopping spree. You just never know when we’ll be shelling out four bucks a gallon to fuel up for our next drag race again.

Government Swoops In To Save Citigroup

11/24/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy, US

Superhero Government Man is about to rescue another damsel in distress, this time by the name of Citigroup.

The Treasury department, Federal Reserve and FDIC announced on Friday that they were channeling a solid $20 billion into the flagging finance stalwart in the hopes of preventing yet another catastrophic collapse of a longstanding institution.

The boost already has been met with some success, as the market has shown favorable initial response to the move. Citigroup’s stock rose 49 percent in morning trading, and the stock markets in Germany and England gained more than four percent in afternoon trading. The collective financial world is crossing their fingers on this one, hoping to prevent even more financial chaos.

On another note, The New York Mets baseball organization is also knocking on wood for a Citigroup revival, as it’s failure might instigate a renaming of the soon-to-open CitiField to Government Subsidized Stadium.

Detroit Drives (or Doesn’t) Another Stock Market Dive

11/19/08 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Economy, US

The stock market took another dive today as stockholder fears over the fate of Detroit’s automakers took their toll.

Earlier this week, the US auto industry collectively cringed as democrats and the White House battled over which massive pot of taxpayer money to waste on bailing out suffering American automakers. The dispute may lead to a stalemate, delaying the allocation of funds and threatening to leave the affected companies with nothing but their unsellable cars.

While democrats favor carving out a nice chunk of the recent 700 billion dollar bailout (known as Troubled Asset Relief Program, or TARP to its friends), the GOP wishes to utilize the 25 billion dollar Department of Energy loan program to aid the troubled industry. Those members of congress who suggested allowing the market to “do its thing” and avoid throwing vast sums of money into a pit of fire and twisted metal were politely asked by the majority to go to hell.

A divided vote in the houses of congress have led to a lame duck session, which will purposely reconvene Wednesday to continue being lame. No prospects of a vibrant, no-nonsense duck putting its foot down and making a decision are apparent, but in an unrelated story, my Hyundai Sonata is extremely fuel efficient and has an excellent warranty.

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