If there’s one thing we’ve learned from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life it’s that every sperm is sacred - even great - and if any of those guys get wasted, God gets quite irate. But at what point do little bundles of joy you create stop being bundles of joy and start just being time consuming things you start referring to as “hey kid?” (more…)
Archive for the ‘Gossip’ Category
19 is Half a George Orwell Novel
9/01/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip, USBrown “Still Loves” Rihanna, Still Can’t Remember Being a Jerk Face
8/31/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip
A new interview of Chris Brown will air on Larry King Live later this week, and it really brings to light some of the things people have wanted to know about the musician. Like, for example, how he doesn’t remember the time he beat up his girlfriend Rihanna to within inches of death. Or how—probably because he doesn’t remember beating her—he still loves her. We don’t support Chris Brown because we saw Rihanna’s mangled face, but we do think it’s important to give everyone, even bad guys, a second chance. (more…)
Deep Questions for a Fashionable Friday
8/28/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Gossip
Ah, print media. Your death is slow and current. You used to provide us with meaningful news without the human interest or the celebrity gossip that sells. But clearly, you overestimated the attention span of the American public. Now that sound bites and status updates are replacing news, perhaps you are looking back on the rags and mags of your age that have been pandering to the people since the days before information technology. Who Wore it Better? You should have been all over it when you had the chance. (more…)
MJ Joins Elvis, Cobain in Top Secret Undead Musical Supergroup
8/27/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip
Last year’s “Chinese Democracy” album from Guns ‘n’ Roses may have been one of the most anticipated albums in decades, but it pales in comparison to the bubbling excitement over the upcoming release by multi-genre supergroup The Pearly Gates. The band has been working hard since 1977 when lead singer Elvis Presley faked his own death in anticipation of all of the other musical talents he could recruit to fake their own death and record what has been long-billed as the “most important album of all-time.” While Presley has been laying down initial tracks with the help of Kurt Cobain, Liberace, and Tupac, the final piece of the production puzzle was completed back in July when the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, faked his own death (years after being courted by Elvis through his daughter and MJ’s future wife, Lisa Marie). (more…)
Reality TV Star Turned Murderer Still at Large
8/21/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip
In the great scheme of things, getting on a reality show won’t likely lead to lasting fame or notoriety. However, murdering your ex-Playmate stripper wife and escaping to Canada on foot AFTER getting on a reality show might be more effective. We know this thanks to Ryan Alexander Jenkins, the millionaire contestant on VH1’s Megan Wants A Millionaire who is now a prime suspect in the murder of his ex-Playmate stripper wife Jasmine Fiore.
Jenkins was last seen in a remote northern area of Washington, where he abandoned his BMW SUV (sweet repo auction ahead!) and a small boat and probably went to Canada on foot. Authorities from both sides of the border have been unsuccessful in locating this shining example of American pop culture, but the manhunt is ongoing.
Anonymous Blogging Takes A Blow To the Gut
8/19/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip, Industry, US
First it’s the Patriot Act, now this? Apparently there’s nowhere left in this world for anonymous dissenters to share defaming comments about people they don’t know. A court ruling has demanded that Google release the secret identity of a certain blogger using its platform after content on the person’s blog, Skanks in NYC, was deemed unlawful in its regards to the personal and professional reputation of Canadian model Liskula Cohen. (more…)
One Second of Werewolf Abdominals
8/11/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Gossip14 seconds may not be a very long time in the grand scheme of things, but if utilized the right way, those handful of ticks on the clock are long enough to change the world as we know it. Today, that 14 second miracle occurred for those “Twilight” Fans out there patiently waiting for “New Moon,” the next installment of the vampire saga, to be released.
If you blink twice, the clip will be over, but listen carefully because you don’t want to miss A-Lister Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan deliver the amazingly profound line that will surely win her an Oscar, “you’re sorta beautiful.” So what’s the real icing on this vamp-clip?: Press pause at exactly the :08 marker. Girls (and a few guys) - you’ll thank me later.
Brooks & Done
8/11/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Gossip
After 20 years, 10 studio albums and dozens of hits loved in two isolated regions of the United States, country duo Brooks and Dunn have decided to call it quits. By the way, the Brooks in Brooks and Dunn isn’t Garth Brooks. Isn’t that weird? This whole time, I totally thought it was. Oh well, it doesn’t matter now. (more…)
Tittilating Gaga Rumors Give Internet Hard On
8/11/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip
“Maybe she’s a herm…” – Jack Black, Saving Silverman
No, Jack Black was not referring to Lady Gaga in the above quote, but were he to be asked about her in an interview, one might guess that he would reprise it. After all, the social web has been all atwitter this week with rumors regarding Lady Gaga’s sexuality.
On Friday, a new video hit the web, purportedly ‘proving’ the singer is not without penis. Along with the video, an ancient blog allegedly written by the star herself also ‘proves’ the existence of multiple naughty bits under her pleather skirt. “Its not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female.” According to the ‘Poker Face’ singer’s publicist, the claims are “ridiculous” - but we’ve seen the video, and the jury is clearly still out.
2009 Teen Choice Awards Predictable, Pattinson-y
8/10/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip
About five-sevenths of those in the proper age range to be referred to as “Teens” may not have the right to vote, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be blessed with the burden of choice. What better way to bestow upon the adolescent population their very own right to choose by giving them an award show in which they basically tell you what you already knew they liked. Yes, everyone who induces shrieking in those between the ages of 13 and 19 was on hand to be honored at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards, a shocking ceremony held at the Gibson Theater in Los Angeles on Sunday night. The kids let their ballots (or however they vote) do the obsessed, high-pitched wailing that only dogs can hear. As soon as Lassie got the message loud and clear that the kids thought enough of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart’s performance in their light-hearted, not-at-all brooding, good-time vampire romp, Twilight, that they saw fit to award them both for it. The film went on to snag 11 awards in total.
Meanwhile, the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus surprised everyone by taking home five and six awards respectively, possibly in the music category or maybe just in the cute boyz and girlz department. The show also saw the aforementioned acts separately involved in two of the most beguiling moments in world pop culture history. (more…)








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