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Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

Sleep Shape Psychology

2/23/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Health, Science

As it turns out, the position you sleep in speaks volumes about your personality and the general way in which you go about things. According to a study conducted by Chris Idzikowski, most of us mainly use one of six sleeping poses, including Fetal, Soldier, Triple Helix, Butt Poke, and the Batman. The most common way to sleep is in the fetal position, which indicates a person who is tough on the outside, and chewy and moist on the inside. We conclude that this means most people have a heart of gold, and also that the same people come off as jerks, providing a nice answer to the question of our inherent inclination as a species.

People who sleep in the Soldier or the Starfish are said to be good listeners, make good friends, but are also prone to snoring and will often have a bad nights sleep. This may have less to do with the sleeping position and simply reflect that Soldier and Starfish sleepers feel incredible guilt because they tend to be awful, immoral people.

Idzikowski’s findings are fully detailed in his AOL Health article, in which he alludes to a placemat he’s working on that will include all the positions, their tendencies, fortunes, and compatibility with other types.

Tags: Health, Sleep

Eyeballing It: Tattoos for Your Peepers

2/23/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Health

Kids may say the darnedest things, but once they grow old enough to be taken seriously as regular members of society they start to DO them. The latest wrinkle in darn-dom is the advent of eye tattoos. That’s right, tattoos for your eyes!

As if going to the eye doctor and getting wind blown at your pupils wasn’t freaky enough, now you can go to a tattoo artist who will stick a needle in your eye and flood your cornea with a sea of ink turning the whites of your eyes whatever color your heart desires. The procedure was brought to light after last month when an online body modification zine covered the story of three people’s attempts to turn their baby blues entirely blue.

We don’t mean to pass judgement, but the only time we might foresee this modification coming in handy is if you one day find yourself in battle and the opposing general echoes that famous line…”Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes.” Otherwise, the act just seems to serve the sole purpose of freaking people out - which we’ve done well enough with our cat eye contacts.

Tags: Body Modification, Eyeball Tattoos

A Kidney on Craigslist

2/18/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Health

We all know that Craigslist is a great place to get hooked up with whatever it is that you may be looking for, a new bike, an old Jeep, a rare iguana…If you want it, chances are you can probably find it there. But what if the item you need is a little more personal, like a bodily organ for example?

Daniel Flood was in dire need of a kidney transplant or would have to face frequent dialysis. The 68 year old already had the disadvantage of only being born with one kidney in the first place, and his second one was not looking so good. With over 75,000 Americans waiting for a kidney, the chances of him receiving one was pretty slim. To stack the odds against him a little more, his blood type was O-negative, a hard match to find, and none of his friends or relatives were a compatible donor. His three daughters promised to do everything in their power to find him a new kidney, so they turned where any internet savvy person looking for something would go: Craigslist.

The women got over 100 responses on their hunt for daddy’s new kidney, though most were A)trying to sell their extra organ (which is illegal,) or B) Not a blood type match. They finally heard from Dawn Verdick, 48, who was on Craigslist looking for a volunteer project. The ad caught her attention because of the matching blood type, and so she decided to test whether hers would be a compatible kidney. They were almost a perfect fit, and so after a few psychological and physical evaluations, the kidney swap took place. The surgery was a success and both donor and recipient are doing well. Flood’s daughters started their own non-profit organization to help others in need find a kidney.

Though Craiglist’s kidney deals are a little unconvential, it sure beats the old “wake up in a bathtub filled with ice-kidney heist,” don’t you think?

Tags: Craigslist, kidney, transplant

FBI vs Salmonella: The Unofficial Transcript

2/10/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Health, US

FBI agents Snipes and Warren sit in an unmarked van outside a plant in rural Georgia. They’re both suiting up and arming themselves with their weapons.

Snipes: You’ll have to wear this protective mask when we infiltrate the premises.
Warren: Do you think that kind of precaution is necessary?
Snipes: The FDA’s been watching these guys since January 30^th; it’s worth it. Do you have any idea what these things are capable of? This is biological warfare, Warren.
Warren: So you’re telling me…
Snipes: If just one of those jars gets out in the open…it could mean thousands of lives.

Warren: Alright Snipes, let’s do this thing. I’ll take point. Cover me.
Snipes: I’m right behind you.
Warren: If anything happens to me, you tell my wife—
Snipes: I’ve got you covered, Warren. Move out.

Warren busts open the door to the plant and points his loaded M-16 at a line worker.

Snipes: Alright motherf*cker, drop the peanuts and get your face in the dirt!
Warren: Peanut Corporation of America, your days of shipping contaminated peanut butter to 43 states are over!
Snipes: Sayonara, salmonella!
Warren: Hope you’re used to the bars on these windows…you’ll need to be!

Warren and Snipes holster their guns and slap five. Victorious music plays.

Snipes: I f*cking love this job.

Tags: FBI, Salmonella

Potentially Possible Further Uses for Pot, Maybe

1/13/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Health

Researchers have found that THC, the psychoactive agent in marijuana, may aid a process which is perhaps linked to a possible treatment of Alzheimer’s disease, which might actually be effective, maybe.

In a study that was published in the December 2008 issue of the journal Neurobiology of Aging, researchers smoked out aged rats with fine government issued trees and wrote down everything they did. “I got the idea from my son,” said lead researcher Gary Wenk. “He had this cat that he was trying to get rid of by leaving it in different neighborhoods, and it would always find it’s way back. He swore its memory was enhanced because he’d been blowing shotguns into its ears for months. So we said, that’s interesting. Let’s try it with rats next”.

Through some scientific means which regular folks totally won’t understand very well, Wenk and his team found that smoking reefer may slow or even reverse the dementia associated with Alzheimer’s disease. In an attempt to minimize the psychoactive effects experienced by those treated, they estimate that the lowest effective dose for a 60 to 75 year old person is a single puff of weed a day, which will leave plenty of roaches around for mooching grandkids.

Tags: Alzheimers, Marijuana

Jett Travolta: Death By Scientology?

1/05/09 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under Gossip, Health

As with any loss of a child, the recent death of John Travolta’s son is a tragedy. But what is more tragic than death is preventable death, and a debate over what category the death of Jett Travolta fits into has already begun.

For years, rumors about Jett’s likely case of autism have been floating through Hollywood. According to several sources, most of whom are directly affiliated with autism societies and support groups, Jett exhibited signs of the disease, but was never treated due to his parent’s association with Scientology, a controversial religion with incredibly strict guidelines regarding treatment of conditions that are not clearly categorized as medical. In fact, Scientology’s guidelines are more accurately described as denials, because the religion doesn’t even recognize autism (nor the therapies that can help those that suffer from it). They are not the only sect to be so harsh in the way their members can address physical or psychological issues, but now that another, media-magnified life may have been taken as a result, they’ll undoubtedly be feeling plenty of heat for it.

Jett reportedly died after hitting his head during a seizure, a common effect of untreated autism. After autopsy results on the dead 16-year-old are returned, Jett’s parents may find out the truth about their son’s condition, which (if tests show that he was autistic) will hopefully help lead Scientologists to better address the disease. Not likely without direct word from Hubbard, we presume (especially taking into consideration other Scientology-related deaths that have done little to change things), but here’s hoping nonetheless.

Tags: Autism, Celebrities

Brits Crying OuchWii!

12/24/08 - Posted by Matt Gierhart under Health

In the same week that Nintendo has sold 7.1 million Wiis in the days leading to Christmas, the Sun (London) is reporting that Wiis are putting ten Brits in the hospital a week. The study focused on reports coming from Briton’s state run hospitals about Wii related accidents and muscle strain and did not include data from other countries and their clumsiness. In a related discovery, people who don’t exercise at all are found to get hurt easily.

From general accidents involving a controller to the face, kicking a coffee table and other general slapstick level accidents, new reports of Wii-itus are being reported. That’s right, the minimal effort of flicking ones wrist to hit a tennis ball in a video game is causing a strain in people’s wrists, and doctors are calling it Wii-itus. There is even a double Wii-knee for those heavy Wii Fit users.

Doctors are taking the injuries seriously. Doctor Dev Mukerjee, of Broomfield Hospital commented on increase of injuries, stating “It’s possible that Wii-itus may lead to rheumatism and arthritis in later life. Patients often have inflammation of the shoulder or wrist.”Common treatments include cortisone injections and anti-inflammatory painkillers. They are recommending that all Brits stretch before engaging in a heavy Wii session. The rest of us should just stay clear of over-competitive drunken family members who complain that “it isn’t like real bowling.”

Tags: Britain, Gaming, Wee

Warm Brains? Yawn.

12/16/08 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Health

Recently, the mystery of why people yawn was smashed open with an infallible explanation. Scientists say that the function of yawning, which is interpreted as an indication of boredom or sleepiness, is to cool the brain, which is why we do it before we sleep. Ever try to sleep with a warm brain? Well, then you see what we mean.

To explain why yawns are contagious and can spread upon sight, Professor Andrew Gallup believes that it may be the evolution of a ritual of early man to stay alert in the face of danger. This conjecture replaces the previous explanation for the contagiousness of yawning that it is just a hip thing that all the kids are doing right now.

In a controlled experiment, students were asked to watch videos of people laughing, yawning, and golfing. Some were asked to place warm or cold packs on their heads. Their reactions were viewed by researchers through a one-way mirror. These hidden researchers processed the experiment’s results and uncovered the truth about yawning. While the importance of their work drove their dedication, their spirits were at times thwarted by the jeering of researchers from across the hall, who are working on a cure for leukemia.

Tags: Science

10 Years of Viagra

12/12/08 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Health, US

Viagra, the original erectile dysfuntion pill, has now been on the market for ten years, bombarding us with bad commercials, possible side effects, and more joke material than that annoying guy at your office can use.

When the drug came out in 1998, men suffering from impotence were allowed an opportunity to defy nature and revive their dormant penises without resorting to pumps or injections, something that Doctors think addressed a significant health problem. The pop-pill also brought sexual health into the public spotlight, allowing men to speak freely about their private problems and remove the taboo status of discussing sexuality (which was never spoken of under any circumstances before 1998, ahem).

While Viagra paved the way for more ED drugs and furthered America’s juvenile obsession with sex just a tad, the drug itself works only for about two thirds of all men that use it. It has also been reported that partners of men who use Viagra feel unnattractive. Seeing that their mates need to induce an erection medically in order to become aroused makes them feel less sexy than the days before Viagra, when all that was available was the brown paper bag with a picture of a Revlon model pasted to it. Still, the influential pill from Pfizer has benefited many and continues to be an unforgettable piece of American culture.

The major drug company is currently working on an opposite and more useful pill that hinders the ability of teen to college-age men to get erections.

Tags: Health, Viagra

Canadian Death Fail

11/20/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Health, International Affairs

Canada may have socialized medicine, but that doesn’t mean everyone in the Great White North who enters their Royal Canadian Mounted Emergency Room is hastily attended to. In fact, sometimes it’s just the opposite.

Recently a man from Winnipeg, a generally civilized area of Canada, died after spending 34 hours in the waiting room having not even been assessed by a triage nurse.

The death, which officials found could have been prevented by a simple catheter change and antibiotics, has prompted the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority to institute some measures to insure that such an event will not occur in the future. Included amongst the changes are an electronic registration system that makes sure all patients are signed in before entering the waiting room, and a requirement for emergency room staff to speak directly with waiting room patients at least once every four hours.

While opponents of socialized health care will no doubt see this as an argument for the privatization of health care, it should be noted that this sort of thing never happens in Guelph or Saskatoon. It has happened before, however–even in more developed countries, like Texas– so back off, Obama health-policy haters; it’s gonna be alright.

Tags: Canada, Health, Healthcare

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