Pop musicians got a shock this week when a man who changed the face of their field not only prematurely kicked the bucket, but gave them one final schooling from beyond the grave. Michael Jackson’s music is tearing up the charts and, with much poetic justice, bumping out contemporary pop stars like the Black Eyed Peas (man, they really suck. What ever happened to Joints and Jam?).
About a week ago, we learned a that the ratio of starving earthicans to fed ones had reached an appalling 1 in 6. While we have always had issues with keeping everyone fed, this new figure reveals the foreboding reality of a global population with plenty of food but no way to distribute it equitably. Citizens of most classes of first world countries see food wasted everyday at home and at restaurants and feel terrible about it, but would lose their golf sweaters over actually doing something about it. Even if they wanted to, what could be done? You want me to mail the rest of this sandwich to Somalia?
Tweeny Twilight Fans were sent into a bloodthirsty frenzy when Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart took their vampire romance to the big screen. While high school girls all over fantasized about Bella and Edwards twisted love, a darker more mature audience discovered True Blood, HBO’s answer to America’s current corpse crush. Though the True Blood novels were written significantly earlier than Mormon Meyer’s Twilight, the internet has been buzzing wildly about both for months—each getting hundreds of social media mentions per hour. The two have very different sub-plots, but when taking a quick glance at these two different series, it’s hard to ignore their initial similarities.
Twilight: Bella, a mortal girl falls in love with a mind-reading vampire (also known as bloodsucker). She struggles to become accustomed to the dangers of their world and the physical and emotional implications that their relationship brings. Her best friend is a werewolf. Lots of sexual tension and teen angst.
True Blood: Sookie, a mind-reading mortal girl, falls in lust with a vampire (making her a “fang-banger”). She struggles to become accustomed to the dangers of their world and the social, physical, and emotional implications that their relationship brings. Her boss is a shape-shifting dog. Lots of seXXX.
We checked out some OneRiot search data to see if we could shed any light on America’s thriving coffin craze, hoping to find out which set of vampires were most popular.
Since the beginning of ‘verbing’ words, many classic nouns and adjectives have taken the weirding of our language a step further. The most recently impactful verbed word is ‘trending,’ something that’s been awesome-ing here at OneRiot since our inception. Every once in a while, the very trend that’s occurring will stem from the question “Why is X trending?,” adding a little caveat to the whole trending thing altogether. Today, an old and currently irrelevant animated film that we have no reason to revisit, popular-ed at high enough numbers to be trending. Why? Well, Bebe’s Kids just happened to be on BET today.
Planning a marriage of Elizabethan proportions but can’t find the perfect altar? Look no further! Take a page out of Shakespeare’s famously romantic (and also tragic) play Romeo & Juliet by saying your I Do’s atop the balcony of the Casa de Giulietta, the spot where Romeo first serenaded his star-crossed bride to be.
In India, a developing nation that still deals with the Black Death, there are simply too many corpses and too little time. In lieu of a better solution, a mortuary near New Delhi has been creatively dealing with the unclaimed dead for nearly twenty years. When a body undergoes an autopsy and no family members show up within seven days to make funeral arrangements, who you gonna call? The pond out back, that’s who.
In its current dried up state, a small body of water near the house o’ the dead revealed human remains, including about a hundred skulls. Police chief Maan Singh Chauhan suspects that former junior officers got lazy and found a half-assed short cut.
While such an unsanitary discovery would send shockwaves through any health-paranoid first world nation, it is not so jarring a prospect in a nation where cow urine is a leisurely beverage, worshippers drink milk with rats swimming around in it, and men marry dogs.
Facebook sinners, prepare to saddled with massive amounts of Catholic guilt for all of your social networking indiscretions. While you previously only had to answer to your stalker friends who might be inclined to comment on every damnable offense apparent in your profile photos, now you’ll have to answer to a much higher power: His Holiness.
That’s right, el Popo is on Facebook - and he wants to be your friend. While some of the Catholic Church’s policies might be rooted as far back as the 1st century, that doesn’t mean they’re unable to bring religion coasting into the Twenty First with a hot new application. The Pope2You page allows users to send their friends and enemies virtual postcards with photos of the Pope Benedict XVI staring directly at them. If this doesn’t get them running to confession, at least it’ll be a fun tool to use to let your roommate know that you’re well aware of his solo indulgence in the pleasures of the flesh the previous evening. That’ll be “two Hail Marys” and three “our fathers.” Sinner.
Kanye West did the entire world a favor today by announcing that he does not, did not, and will not ever have a Twitter account. The popular producer, fashionista and vocoder spokesman blogged about his distaste for the medium, suggesting that using it would only keep him from being the voice of a generation we have all come to ‘love’ and ‘respect.’
West also ragged on Twitter founder Jack Dorsey for allowing fake celebrity accounts to continue slandering their real celebrity counterparts: “IT’S A F*CKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE.” (Note following picture of #1 Kanye fake. Seriously, Jack - how do you know?!)
The sky was nowhere near the limit for this week’s hottest hot topics, in which the whole universe came to out play with satellites, shooting stars, and even Kim Kardashian’s volumpturump. Thankfully, the actual subject matter was more down-to-earth – except, of course, for that little incident with the big, big phallus. Ready to read? WAIT – times like these call for a countdown. 3…2… oh okay, just go.
If NASA was hoping for something serious when they asked fans to name a new space module – well, that’s just dumb.
http://topics.oneriot.com/colbert-wins-nasa-contest
According to these pictures, Kim Kardashian’s otherworldly curves just stretched into the next galaxy.
http://topics.oneriot.com/kim-kardashian-airbrush-shots
For the first time, scientists have hunted down a shooting star, which means not only do they hurtle towards earth - they crash into it.
http://topics.oneriot.com/astronomers-catch-shooting-star
Thanks to various forms of his trailblazing global warming piece “An Inconvenient Truth,” 2007 was a banner year for former Vice President Al Gore. In those short 365 days, he landed a Nobel Prize, a Grammy, and an Academy Award - word has it, he could have showed up to that year’s Tony’s and snagged a statuette for Best Musical if he wanted to. Now, after spending the last year out of the limelight, America’s favorite also-ran is gearing up to do it again in 2010 - though he”ll officially get the ball rolling in ‘09 with the November release of his new book, “Our Choice.”
This sequel to 2007’s “An Inconvenient Truth” attempts to set in motion a plan for dealing with the small problem of the climate crisis that Gore so eloquently spelled out in his first book, movie, & musical. The book was originally announced two years ago under the working title “The Path to Survival” but the most recent title seems a little less foreboding and a lot more intriguing than other discarded titles like “A More Convenient Dealio” and “Al G’s Guide To Fixing This Whole Crappy Enviro-Sitch.” Unfortunately, books of environmental inclination rarely tend to leak the way new additions to vampire sagas do, so readers will have to wait util November to land a copy. Fortunately, it does look like the world will still be around by then, so hang tight.
Jennifer Hodges July 1, 2009 4:40 pm Jayson- what exactly is “adventure music”??? 
Harrry July 1, 2009 1:11 pm IF YOUR HOMETOWN BECAME THE TARGET FOR AN APPROACHING NUCLEAR MISSILE,You would most... 
Evan Kessler June 30, 2009 8:37 am My little nod to Prince. 
Abdullah June 29, 2009 9:41 pm Ha! “Sexy M.F.” Genius. 
Chris Reinhard June 29, 2009 12:12 pm I’d like to request that the title of this article be renamed ‘My... 
Hollywood moves fast. Real fast. And if you’ve had even a pinch of fame during your lifespan, chances are a motion picture production company will be in the works to produce your biopic before you’ve even been buried. So goes the tale of Billy Mays, the pitchman most recognized for his husky/on the verge of [...]
Pop musicians got a shock this week when a man who changed the face of their field not only prematurely kicked the bucket, but gave them one final schooling from beyond the grave. Michael Jackson’s music is tearing up the charts and, with much poetic justice, bumping out contemporary pop stars like the Black Eyed [...]
In the days following the death of Michael Jackson, internet hoaxsters have tried their hand at convincing us that famous people are dropping like flies. First there were the Jeff Goldblum rumors, then they told us our beloved Harrison Ford and Britney Spears had gone the way of the dodo.
Being the astute followers of pop [...]
Forget about purebred pups with pedigrees–This weekend’s top dogshow was all about honoring those canines with mugs that only an owner can love. With gnarly coats, stumpy tails, missing eyes, and scraggly teeth, dogs came from all over the globe to win the coveted title of the World’s Ugliest Dog.
11-Year Old Harvey Kindlon was so close! He managed to get within feet of uber-beauty of the moment Megan Fox at the London premiere of Transformers 2, when his well-documented quest to give her a yellow rose was stymied by the flashbulbs of photo hounds from the UK’s trashiest rags. It seemed all was well [...]
Do a search for “The Whuffie Factor reviews” on a traditional search engine, and something interesting happens. In the area that SEO experts lust for – those glorified first five results - a blog post pops up. It’s a modest post, just a few flattering paragraphs covering Tara Hunt’s guide to social media for businesspeople, [...]
The blog owner requires users to be logged in to be able to vote for this post.
Alternatively, if you do not have an account yet you can create one here.
Powered by Vote It Up
Buddy Up