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Archive for the ‘Life & Culture’ Category

Thanks and Have Fun Running the Country

1/20/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Life & Culture, Politics, US

Our new President is bringing hope and the promise of change to people all over this country - but not just to the people who voted for him. As demonstrated by the kids at 826 Valencia, a non-profit child’s literacy center in San Francisco, a much younger (and shorter) demographic have also taken notice.

After Obama was elected, volunteers at the center asked the children to write letters to the president-to-be as an exercise in both writing and current events, and the results were hilarious, heartwarming, and brutally honest. The idea caught on at 826 Writing Centers all over the country, and the letters were collected into a compilation book (Which is awesome and wonderful, and you can purchase it here.

We really do think that kids say it best, so in attempt to say hello to our brand-spankin’ new President ( for the third time today - we know, we’re done, we promise) here are some of our favorite notes from kids to Mr. Barack Obama…

Dear Barack Obama,

Congrats on becoming the president of the United States and slaughtering John McCain. I think that, unlike W., you should dodge other countries and not shoes. You should not be so quick to go to war and negotiate with terrorists. I like what you said about bringing the troops home from Iraq.

If you like my letter, know that it’s from D’andre “the King” Legrand, age 12
Brooklyn

*

Dear President Obama,

Are you going to be pictured on our money? How do you get in the White House? Do you like Abraham Lincoln? Do you have a big backyard? Martin Luther King Jr. had big fans. How many fans do you have? You could help us by giving us food. I am Luis Ramirez. I go to school at Mayberry. I like to play video games.

Luis Ramirez, age 8
Los Angeles

*

Dear President Obama,

If I want anybody to be president, it’s me. I would clean the streets and give myself more money. I would also give everybody a piece of a Reese’s candy. Every homeless guy or girl would get $50 for help and a place to sleep for the winter. My family and other families would get free gas for our cars; single people with no kids would have to pay. The money would come from copying other bills. The $1, $2, $5, $10, $20, $50, and $100 bills would be copied one thousand times.

The paper would not come from trees but from hardened glue. The way to make it is by mixing water and glue together so that it looks like paper. You then put it in a fire, then let it cool in the freezer.

Weslie Jackson, age 12
Chicago

If you want to check out more, go here.

Catholics Open Dirtiest Chamber of Them All

1/16/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under International Affairs, Life & Culture

There’s nothing like a little smut to drive participation within the Catholic Church. Citing a decline in confessions over the past several years, the Vatican decided to open the doors to one of its most secretive tribunals, known for playing host to the confessions of sins so vile and despicable that only the Pope can grant absolution.

For two days, the “tribunal of conscience” was opened to the [Catholic] public, something that many of the Vatican’s prominent cardinals believe will reinvigorate faith amongst acting Catholics, and increase church attendance at the same time. Coincidentally, this reminds me of the old saying, ’sex sells.’

The Vatican’s number two man, cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, told reporters that “Today it seems as though the sense of sin has been forgotten.” That might have something to do with the ambiguity of sins, but who really knows.

Now, I don’t want to suggest that the hierarchy of Catholic sins is by any means downright silly, but you may be surprised to hear that things like spitting out the sacramental wine at communion—referred to as ‘defiling the Eucharist’—is considered a pope-worthy sin, but genocide is simply handled on the local level by any priest or bishop. Huh?

Oh Joy: ‘Joy of Sex’ Gets a Reboot

1/12/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Life & Culture, US

in 1972 a book came out that not only changed the way we think about sex, but also may have gone a long way towards establishing a link between mankind and our primate ancestors. We’re not talking about the complete transcripts of The Scopes Trial, rather Dr. Alex Comfort’s ‘The Joy of Sex.’ The erotic “how to” manual taught generations of lovers how to help others and themselves with a healthy dose of pointers and illustrations featuring the hairiest of hippie hunks and his fellow female pubic forestry major.

Despite the volume’s popularity, thirty-seven years is a long time for any subject to be left to marinate. Sure the act of intercourse has changed just about as much as our anatomy has in the past 37 years, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get to look at ourselves in a whole new light with the lights off. So, with plenty of new perversions having popped up within a span of nearly four decades, ‘The Joy of Sex’ has never been more ripe for an update - a task recently tackled by British relationship therapist Susan Quilliam.

The renovated version sports 42 brand new sections on modern topics ranging from phone sex to transsexualism. For those hoping to scan through the pages for naughty visuals of the haircut impaired, you’re out of luck - the character sketches from the original have been updated with a more glamorous couple engaged cackling in moments of coitus, replacing the previous incarnation’s creepy scribbled sensuality.

Obama: A Visual Retrospective in Badassness

12/17/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Life & Culture, Politics, US

Barack Obama is more than likely one of America’s better looking president elects. I’m a dude, and I feel alright admitting it. But what did Barry look like before the wrinkles of onset political pressure syndrome kicked in?

A recent dossier of top-secret B&W photos by former classmate Lisa Jack reveals that, believe it or not, the Commander In Chief-to-be was pretty slammin’ back in his days at Occidental College in sunny LA. Photographer Jack, now a psychologist, confesses to remembering little more about Obama’s disposition beyond his good looks: “He was really cute. But what else does a 20-year-old girl remember?” Juicy.

It’s safe to say that although Barack Obama had plenty of charisma back then, at age 18 he was just another normal, sexy collegian coed. I, for one, am glad he put his modeling aspirations aside en route to a slightly more ambitious career in politics. But who knows? Maybe these are the photos that landed him a little late-night law lovin’ from future First Lady Michelle.

US Not Keen on Infested “Survivor” Leftovers

12/17/08 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Life & Culture

A number of artifacts from the 17th season of Survivor are not being allowed through customs into the US due to a hearty crop of potential insect and parasite infestations. One item, the hyde of an African Civet cat, may even contain contagions of the SARS virus. Other items included a mandrill skull, a parrot, poultry and ostrich feathers, bones and cowries shells, a bag of dirt, a Snickers bar, a tube sock, a copy of Bill Cosby’s “Fatherhood” and a partridge in a pair tree.

While these items are commonly bartered goods in Gabon, where Survivor took place, US authorities restricted their passage and sent the container out to the middle of the ocean on a raft, where it will be set on fire and eventually sink to the bottom. Some objections came from a gnarled female shaman elder wrapped in a tattered shawl who warned of a horrible curse arising from the fumes a claiming the souls of whales, at which point the woman was escorted out of the press conference by security. When asked to comment on the seized items, producers of Survivor stated “Thanks for getting rid of that stuff, we couldn’t have used it for Survivor 18 - North Philadelphia.”

Obama: Changing the Hip Hop Game

12/10/08 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Life & Culture, Music, Politics

Rapper Common says Barack Obama’s presidency will directly influence the state of hip hop, a genre which Common is in love with, and Nas claims is dead .

The accomplished artist believes that hip hop artists “pick up what’s going on in the world and try to reflect that,” giving such examples as KRS One, Talib Kweli, and the ever enlightened Mystikal.

This optimistic view comes hand-in-hand with Common’s new record, Universal Mind Control, as an example of his vision for the future of hip hop. Apparently, reflecting the most current and relevant realities of the world around us involves attempting to “really make some music that was bright, that would be a little more lighthearted.” This kind of musical product, the rapper predicts, will exceed the popularity of (and replace) the more popular genres today: “I think hip-hop artists will have no choice but to talk about different things and more positive things.”

While it would be nice to think that ignorance, misogyny, and violence would no longer be condoned or even discussed in mainstream rap music because Barack Obama is in office, Common clearly missed the scores of mixtapes with the president-elect’s face on them, some of which contain lyrics that can be considered typical of most mainstream garbage out today. While Common’s endeavor is noble, his challenge for today’s rappers to enhance their content is being met with little consideration from mainstream artists. When asked to comment, Li’l Wayne is reported to have stated, “(Expletive Deleted) that (Expletive Deleted)! (Expletive Deleted)!”

Officers Taser Pallbearer, Ruin Funeral

11/20/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Life & Culture

The phrase “timing is everything” is apparently one that The Wilmington, North Carolina Sheriff’s Department has never heard of.

Gladwyn Taft Russ III, who was charged with threatening his ex-wife, agreed to surrender to officials after his father’s funeral. However, officers attempted to arrest Russ during the ceremony as he was in the process of loading his own father’s coffin into a hearse.

Two deputies kneed Russ in the back before tasering him, which led to funeral pandemonium as Russ went wild. In efforts to “maintain the peace,” officers began waving guns in the air and threatening to shoot. The congregation of grieving family members thought they were witnessing a drug deal gone bad, and a pallbearer was quoted as saying “we almost dropped the casket.”

At the end of the day, Russ was charged with disorderly conduct, felony malicious conduct by a prisoner, assault on a government official, and resisting an officer. However, a Wilmington, N.C. Sheriff’s official has since apologized for the incident, making it all better. Way to go boys, way to go.

“Meh” Enters Dictionary, We Feel Meh About it

11/17/08 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under International Affairs, Life & Culture

The term “meh,” used colloquially to imply indifference, boredom, the flavor of most major American beers, and the NKOTB reunion tour, has finally found a home in the Collins English Dictionary.

No one really seems to know where the term originated, but it did gain popularity after being used in a 2001 episode of The Simpsons. We’re just glad its finally getting some credit in the pages of an English publication. Mostly glad. I mean, we don’t really care either way, but it’s probably nice for them.

More McSomethings

11/13/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Gossip, Life & Culture

Move over McDreamySteamy, McMilitary is steppin’ up to be a regular on ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy.

Scottish Actor Kevin McKidd will continue his role as Major Owen Hunt, a military doctor joining the permanent ranks of Seattle Grace next season. Guess the conservatives won this one, as the Army-man’s entrance also marks the exit of Dr. Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith), whose character recently went lesbian.

We can only hope that they soon add an overweight cast member to the show– bring on McMuffin.

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