Science | Blog.OneRiot.com - Blogging the Pulse of the Web

Get in My Fishtank 2

2/26/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science

We first became aware of the possible phenomenon of a dual-species when on a recent cross country flight, we were served a dish that seemed to be both chicken and fish. While we don’t have definitive proof that an actual chickenfish exists, Scuba instructors off the coast of Indonesia have brought us the next best thing: a Frogfish.

This gelatinous, fist-sized half-breed was discovered off the coast of Ambon Island in the Indonesian Coral Triangle. The weirdo marine life-form has leg-like fins on the side of it’s body, which it uses to bounce off the seabeds, and is covered with thick folds of skin that protect it from sharp-edged corals. These features pair beautifully with it’s flat face, forward-facing eyes, and mouth that appears to be in a constant state of yawwwwn.

The new species has been named “Psychedelica” by a University of Washington professor on account of its swirl of tan and peach zebra stripes that extending form eyes to tail, and also because it reminds him of an acid trip he took once while listening to The Doors.

Tags: Frogfish, Sealife

Atlantis: Still Just a Feature Length Cartoon

2/25/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science, US

Amateur computer-screen-oceanographers of the world were brought back down to earth this week when a couple of actual scientists provided an explanation for markings in the ocean conjectured to be the lost city of Atlantis. Walter Smith and David Sandwell of Scripps Institute of Oceanography claim that the grid-like markings were likely caused by the echosounding of ships, a process by which the depth of the water below the ship at any given point is determined.

While many are accepting the explanation and simply calling Smith and Sandwell a couple of Buzz Killingtons some commenters are disputing the echosounding theory, stating that the straightness of the lines could not have been any ship’s trajectory. A counter argument returned that even if the lines were from an ancient subterranean structure, the city blocks of this assumed city would have to be over 50 miles long. A rebuttal from the other side of the table said that it was, like, thousands of years ago and maybe that’s how long blocks were back then, so shut up.

Either way, that’s one more fun, fantastical thing killed by nautical science. Next week: The giant squid is actually a bunch of fishing nets tangled together.

Tags: Atlantis

The Truth IS Out There

2/25/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science

For decades government agencies have been quelling our fear of alien invasion, insisting that those unidentified flying objects appearing and disappearing from the night sky are nothing but weather balloons. However, the detractors of extra-terrestrial phenomena have found yet another tune to sing, while still saying nay to the possibility that ALF could be out there.

The latest explanation for interstellar intruders comes via researchers who claim that those UFO’s sightings are caused by Sprites, an abnormality of shimmying light caused when lightning from a thunderstorm excites the above electric field. The result of said occurrence tends to show up as “fast-paced balls of electricity” and maybe even “streaks or tendrils.” With the possibility of all Alien life finally quashed, we guess the U.S. Government will have no problem revealing the contents of Area 51. Though to be honest, we’re not sure this isn’t just another cover up. After all, the one thing scientists still haven’t explained is all of those anal probes.

Tags: Aliens, Space, UFO

Get in My Fish Tank

2/24/09 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under Science

Surrealist painting? Finding Nemo 2? Nopers, this see-through fish is the real deal.

There Goes The Ozone (and $280 Mil)

2/24/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

A satellite designed to monitor the earth’s atmosphere for effects of man-caused global warming crashed into the ocean shortly after its scheduled launch early this morning. The nose cone, which is used to protect the satellite during blastoff, failed to dislodge itself. This put a weight strain on the satellite, and the entire package smashed into the sea near Antarctica, leaving no hope for salvaging its remains. The mission had been in planning for nine years and cost upwards of $280 million, prompting scientist Scott Denning to exclaim “Wow! Bad news this morning.”

Yes Scott. Bad news indeed. Not only was an incredible amount of work and equipment lost, but this mission’s failure has delayed the launch of another satellite planned for this year which will monitor the emission of greenhouse gases on earth. The advent of being without the data that these satellites are meant to gather leaves us in a state of not knowing how fast we are destroying our planet, and until we know that, how can we stop being destructive? We know exactly what is damaging our atmosphere, you say? Use public transportation, you say? My dear, non-scientist friend…let’s not lose our hats before all the data is in.

Tags: Science, Space

Sleep Shape Psychology

2/23/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Health, Science

As it turns out, the position you sleep in speaks volumes about your personality and the general way in which you go about things. According to a study conducted by Chris Idzikowski, most of us mainly use one of six sleeping poses, including Fetal, Soldier, Triple Helix, Butt Poke, and the Batman. The most common way to sleep is in the fetal position, which indicates a person who is tough on the outside, and chewy and moist on the inside. We conclude that this means most people have a heart of gold, and also that the same people come off as jerks, providing a nice answer to the question of our inherent inclination as a species.

People who sleep in the Soldier or the Starfish are said to be good listeners, make good friends, but are also prone to snoring and will often have a bad nights sleep. This may have less to do with the sleeping position and simply reflect that Soldier and Starfish sleepers feel incredible guilt because they tend to be awful, immoral people.

Idzikowski’s findings are fully detailed in his AOL Health article, in which he alludes to a placemat he’s working on that will include all the positions, their tendencies, fortunes, and compatibility with other types.

Tags: Health, Sleep

Xian Scores a Big One

2/23/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Science

While creepy stories about giant sewer rats have been used for decades by cartoonists, horror writers, and New York City parents whose kids have a propensity to hang out in empty subway stations, most of us never really believed those stories would ever come true. Just like the (awesome) Ninja Turtles, (equally awesome) Master Splinter is nothing more than an urban legend…right?

Enter Mr. Xian (sources suggest that he is unemployed and without a first name), the proud new owner of a six-pound bamboo rat, complete with a 12-inch tail. Xian found the rat scurrying around on a crowded street in Fuzhou, China—apparently the world’s most terrifyingly unsanitary city—and snatched it up bareback, hoping to make a quick buck. No word on whether this is a world record; bamboo rats of comparable size have been documented in the past (they can grow up to 30 inches long). However, it’s—thankfully—rare to find them walking around in broad daylight.

Somewhere in Hollywood, M Night Shyamalan is kicking himself for doing all his animal casting for “Lady in the Water” stateside. The rats here don’t work half as hard as they do in China!

Tags: China, Pets, Rodents

Holy Mammoth! Scientists Hit the Motherload

2/19/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Science

Scientists have hit it big after discovering the fossil motherload near the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles, the main celebrity being an almost fully complete Colombian Mammoth named Zed.

Dead Zed and his 10 foot long tusks were found along with the remains of sloths, saber-toothed cats, wolves, and other mammals who roamed the LA area between 10,000-40,000 years ago. The extinct fellas became stuck to hot asphalt that oozed up through cracks and fissures in the ground, making them immobile and eventually sending them to a tar-like grave (a rather sucky and uncomfortable way to go).

The remains were discovered underneath an old parking close to the tar pits. Researchers dubbed the excavation Project 23 due to the 23 full boxes it took for them to house their findings. This “Paleontological Christmas” as it has been referred, is said to be the first significant fossil excavation in over a century.

Because Zed was nearly 80% accounted for, researchers were able to learn a lot about his hairy and tragic life. Z-Dawg had arthritic joints, re-healed ribs, and multiple broken bones, proving once and for all that LA life is not nearly as glamorous as people make it out to be.

Tags: Archaeology, Los Angeles

ASTROCLASH!: US & Russian Satellites Collide

2/12/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science, US

Sarah Palin may insist she can see Russia from her home, but some “parts” of both countries have done more than just lock eyes - they’ve touched.

A duo of satellites from the two global superpowers enjoyed an extremely unusual astro-brush up 500 miles above Siberia on Tuesday, when a seemingly out of control, inoperative Russian satellite careened into a working craft owned by the U.S. communications company, Iridium. While Iridium expects to have their replacement up and running within the next 30 days, the debris from the biggest unintentional international space summit to date is thought to pose a low-level of risk to both the International Space Station and a shuttle launch scheduled for later this month. The earth’s orbit has been littered with over 17,000 pieces of man-made space junk since the launch of Sputnik in 1957, which currently serve as the biggest threat to shuttles in flight. Sigh: Somewhere out there is a crying Alien beaming up trash and pleading to keep the universe clean.

Tags: Russia, Satellites, Space, US

Go Figure: Immortality Goes to the Jellyfish

2/02/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

Scientists have discovered a species of jellyfish that has the ability to revert itself to a stage of infancy when on the verge of death. Turritopsis dohrnii, a species of half-inch long cnidarians, was discovered over a century ago, but its regenerative powers were not known until the 1990s, when researchers suddenly became suspicious of the lack of fingernail sized jellyfish carcasses found during sea sweep research.

When subjected to starvation, physical damage, or other undesirable states, Turritopsis turns itself into a blob of polyp cells, the youngest state of jellyfish, which then begins growing into a swarm of full size jellyfish. Though this process can be repeated indefinitely, Turritopsis usually allow themselves to die eventually, citing boredom, exhaustion from swarming, and a lack of purpose.

While it is clear that the physical make-up of Turritopsis is able to cheat death, scientists are still unsure if the soul of the original jellyfish lives on in the blob it becomes upon reversion, and are expected to seek the advice of holy persons of various faiths and spiritual disciplines. The two groups are sure to reach a satisfactory and wholly explanatory conclusion to the argument, which takes into account all beliefs of all people, an event upon which God and Colonel Sanders will descend upon the earth and feed all living people with an abundance of popcorn chicken.

The senior citizens of the world, who now prefer to be called ‘the elderly’, are excited at the prospect of research that has the potential to yield drugs that induce youth instantaneously and allow for immortality. In anticipation, the Social Security Administration has requested to be taken out back and shot before the shit hits the fan.

Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

Search the Blog

Categories

Buddy Up

Partnership

Recent Comments

Gossip

Freebies

Updates

Partnership

Featured Article

Stuff We’re Watching

Stuff We’re Reading

Tweet Tweet

The Blogroll

Friends

Industry

Partnerships

You need to log in to vote