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Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

SEC Shelters CBS with Desperate UGC Ban

8/17/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Sports

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Here’s a disastrous concept: let’s tell drunk, ticket-holding sports fans that they can’t EVER send a text message, update their Facebook or post a photo to Twitter while they’re at a game. Short of banning cell phones at games, there’s almost no way the Southeastern Conference’s new media policies will fly.

Based on a recent press release, social media of all kinds has been essentially banned at venues hosting SEC events. The move comes in an effort to protect CBS—the sole owner of broadcasting rights for the SEC—but the likelihood of controlling user-created media items would be almost impossible without a ban on personal devices, too. (more…)

Philadelphia Might Hate Dogs

8/14/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Sports, US

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Just when it seemed that no self-respecting NFL team was ready to take a chance on famously crestfallen super-athlete Michael Vick, the sporting world’s collective ratings heads sighed a breath of anxious relief: Philadelphia has come calling.

The former dog-fight organizer, fresh off a year in prison, will now call himself an Philadelphian. And while hive-minded animal lovers of the world may have a bone to pick with the Eagles organization for taking a chance on a convicted felon, it wouldn’t be the first time a team has done so:

+ Ray Lewis was tried for murder earlier in the decade and continues to play
+ Jamal Lewis has been convicted of drug trafficking, and also continues to play.
+ Donte Stallworth was convicted of DUI Manslaughter earlier this year (he has been suspended for the upcoming season and served less than five days of jail time).
+ Christian Peter was arrested twice for rape in college and went on to play for three different NFL teams.

So while this news of Michael Vick (who did nothing to people, only dogs) being reinstated in the league is hot today, chances are it will be all but forgotten by the time his new contract expires.

Balls Fly at the Soc Media-Savvy 2009 PGA Championship

8/13/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Sports, US

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So, today is the first day of the 2009 PGA Tour Championship. This year’s tournament takes place in Chaska, Minnesota, and even though only a handful of rich patrons will actually be in attendance, the PGA has come through with a far-reaching live stream of the event complete with social media discussions on Facebook, Twitter and MySpace. (more…)

Holy… Has Erin Andrews Been Captured Naked Through a Peep Hole?

7/21/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Sports

picture-630Hey there sports fans! Do you like illicit videos of attractive baseball announcers brushing their hair and exercising nude in their hotel rooms? Well hold onto your rally caps, because today is your lucky day! We at NSFW POA would like to present you with the ultimate piece of memorabilia—real live video of Erin Andrews doing private things in private that someone captured through a peephole! Now you can own a piece of sexy sports history, all for the price of a possible piracy suit.
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Michael Vick On the Outside

7/20/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip, Sports

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Mothers, lock up your collies: Michael Vick is back on the outside. The indefinitely-suspended quarterback was released from federal custody today after finishing a two-month stint on house arrest. Vick was convicted of hosting a dirty south dogfighting ring and got thrown under the bus by his partners, leading to a 23-month sentence. Now, with all that behind him, he’s already begun lobbying for another job on the gridiron.

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Flintoff Announces Post-Ashes Retirement

7/15/09 - Posted by Tobias Peggs under Sports

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It’s last orders for Andrew Flintoff. The 18-stone English all-rounder has announced his retirement from Test Match Cricket at the end of this current Ashes Series between England and Australia. Fred, as he is affectionately known throughout the sport, is as well known for his colossal drinking sessions as much as his heroics on the pitch. When he single-handedly bashed the Aussies to win the Ashes for England in 2005, Fred famously went on a 48 hour bender before stumbling straight into 10 Downing Street to meet the then-Prime Minster Tony Blair, who was hosting the whole England squad to honor their achievements. (more…)

Shaq Traded Before He Hears Dat

6/25/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Sports

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In the before time people used to find out all of their vital information via phone calls, subpoenas, or beautifully written and subsequently narrated letters from their significant other in Charleston, South Carolina during times of Civil War. Today, however, we have Twitter, which much like text messaging asserts the pressure to get one’s point across in a finite amount of characters. Yesterday brought such an occasion, when NBA Superstar and certifiable Twitterlebrity @THE_REAL_SHAQ got traded to @cavs.

ESPN had like a 8 min piece on it said its a DONE DEAL you a Cavalier but aint beliving it till the BIG @THE_REAL_SHAQ SINGS.

It seems @THE_REAL_SHAQ was not aware of said transaction until @allonso notified the aging big man, telling him “ESPN had like a 8 min piece on it said its a DONE DEAL you a Cavalier but aint beliving it till the BIG @THE_REAL_SHAQ SINGS.” Shaq responded by tweeting @allonso, “I didn’t hear dat yet.” But indeed the Big Cactus would have to be changing his tune and his nickname as he would find out moments later. Perhaps getting the biggest kick out the whole situation was @DJJTR3Y who twote at the diesel “U CLEVELAND BOUND…shaq found out he was traded thru twitter! lmao….hahahaaaaaa.” Shaq confirmed @DJJTR3Y’s Twitspicions with an “I kno right” over the micro-blogging service. It was quite the to do and now we all feel dumber for having followed it. Oh well, so much for the delicate beauty of the English language.

Enjoy It My Man Enjoy It

6/15/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Sports

Kobe Bryant earned himself another notch in his belt last night as the LA Lakers beat the Orlando Magic 99-86 in Game 5 of the NBA Finals. The dashing superstar forced his way into the narrow scoring lane—sometimes from behind—numerous times throughout the contest, running circles around Magic players as if they were helpless groupies. Kobe played rough, assaulting the basket all night long and amassing 30 points.

Last night’s victory secured Bryant’s fourth title, but only his first since the days of double-teaming opponents alongside Shaquille O’Neal.

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Fantasy Sports Face Real NFL Drama

6/04/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Sports

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Over the last 30 years Fantasy sports have transformed from a few nerds in a bar obsessing over stats to a billion dollar business. Today, aforementioned nerds can complete the same task from the privacy of their own darkened basements, basking in the warm glow of constantly emanating computer statistics. While it’s those statistics that earn many an allegiance-less, money hungry sports gambling fanatic a pretty penny come the end of their chosen season, there is one group that hasn’t seen any profit from the heaps of exchanged coinage thrust upon fantasy hosting sites: the players.

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Iron Nun Puts the Tri- in Trinity

5/28/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Sports, US

While men and women of the cloth usually bolster hope and faith in the members of the communities they serve, one nun is taking the fun out of sports for triathletes all over America. Sister Madonna Buder, a 78-year-old nun with more than half a century of experience serving the Lord, is a sporting menace. Realizing her skill for running and subsequently biking and swimming at the age of 52, Sister Buder has been dominating triathlons for 20 plus years.

Though young non-athletes find her drive inspiring, her competitors see things differently. “She’s ruining it for all us young guys” said Brent Lancewood, a three time Ironman champion who lost the last three races to the tenacious sister. “I shudder before every race against her. She’s a damn beast.” Many of the athletes complain that Sister Buder is ungracious in her competitive nature. Several have come forward with allegations of extreme hazing. “She hit me with a ruler one time” said an anonymous cyclist.

For now, there appears to be no end in sight to Sister Buder’s commanding stamina. No official dares reprimand her and none of her competitors have what it takes in the game - it’s almost like she has God on her side. Angels at her back. “Insert supportive religious cliche here.”

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Gossip

  • Renaming Mel Gibson’s Octo-Spawn

    11/03/09

    The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
    The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
    Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up [...]

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  • Jackson Biography Draws the Attention of Hollywood & Interweb

    10/28/09

    In a triumphant posthumous return to the trending topics, Michael Jackson reared his beautifully-singing head on the social web when chatter about the release of his film biography reminded everyone just how influential his passing was. The new picture documents the life of the icon, along with (very) recent footage of Jackson prepping for his [...]

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  • With Great Power Comes Great Twesponsibility

    10/15/09

    Last night, thousands of status updates were sent out into the Twittersphere by concerned individuals who believed they were passing on an Amber Alert for a three year old boy. Descriptions of the perp’s Mitsubishi Eclipse and license plate spread like wildfire, and #98B351 quickly became a trending topic. Not long after, celebrity @KhloeKardashian retweeted [...]

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  • Jon and Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon

    9/29/09

    Bad news, Ed Hardy fans: it’s been scientifically (read: conditionally) proven (read: suggested) that wearing the brand 24/7 will ruin your career. At least, that’s what it—coupled with a series of other bad decisions—did for Jon Gosselin. The horrific fashion victim, best known for his appearances on the reality program Jon and Kate Plus [...]

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  • Imma Let U Finish But Kim Was the Most Famous Kardashian of ALL TIME

    9/24/09

    It’s kind of unfair: pro basketball players are typically ginormous, but they’re always hanging out with diminutive cheerleaders, models and actresses. While we fully support the concept of giving the spoils to the victors (did you see our sweet news coverage, by the way?), it’s nice to know that at least one monolithic baller is [...]

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