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Archive for the ‘US’ Category

Georgia Sex Offenders Found Extra Offensive

9/29/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under US

picture-436 Just when you thought it was so easy to hate sex offenders, a tear-jerking story emerges from the woods behind a Georgia office park to show us the soft, vulnerable side of these forgotten criminals. Nine convicted pervs were asked by police to move their campsite, a home they had set up after being shunned from virtually every community they attempted to settle in. (more…)

32 Years Later, Crime is Crime

9/28/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under US

picture-1039 Otto Weisser is ashamed to be Swiss. He stated this new found shame to news cameras today after his country arrested director Roman Polanski for extradition to the US so that he can be tried on 32-year-old charges of raping a 13-year-old girl. Sentiments similar to Weisser’s echoed through the entertainment industry as Hollywood cried out for some semblance of justice for a man who violated a young girl and used his status to escape punishment, ‘justice’ here meaning he should be left alone and the charges should go away. (more…)

Census Reports 150,000 Same Sex Marriages

9/22/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Politics, US

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Although America at large has been slow to accept gay marriage, the gay community seems to be carrying on with the business of official couplehood without much notice of legislation that doesn’t favor their lifestyle. The census shows that almost 150,000 same sex couples reported being married despite their particular brand of marriage being illegal in their states. (more…)

Good Things Come from Skipping Naptime

9/18/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Life & Culture, Sports, US
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In the midst of all the madness going on in the news, we the viewing public deserve a little heartwarming story. The clip of a Phillies fan catching a foul ball and triumphantly handing it to his three-year-old daughter only to have her toss it right back has been all over the TV and the internets, giving us all an ‘awwww’ moment the likes of which we haven’t experienced since early Full House seasons. (more…)

League of Legendary Broadcasters Welcomes Ernie Anastos

9/17/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under US
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There are certain things you just don’t say. Amongst those things, you should never wish ill on someone else’s family, shout fire in a public theater, or suggest your president is somehow responsible for the holocaust. After those things, there’s an entirely different realm of the unspoken which exists solely for people who hold public forum, which George Carlin affectionately dubbed the “seven words you can’t say on television.”

Last night FOX-NY anchor Ernie Anastos created an entirely new category of the unutterable, melding one of those seven forbidden broadcast words with what some might refer to as an artfully nonsensical non sequitur - and on live television no less. The veteran NYC area anchor, seemingly trying to bridge the gap between a weather forecast by meteorologist Nick Gregory and a story about the new Dan Brown book, laughingly encouraged his fair weather friend to “keep f%$king that chicken” and then just kept a rollin’ as if nothing inappropriate had been said. (more…)

Steel Cage Match: Dodd vs. McMahon

9/16/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Politics, US

Over the last several months the debate over healthcare has made congress look like it was embroiled in WWE Battle Royale. Barack Obama’s big speech made us feel like he was the last man standing in the ring, just before Joe Wilson made it apparent that Republicans were still hanging onto the top rope and about to charge directly at the president’s bill with a folding chair slung over their shoulders. All Wrestling metaphors aside, it looks like another Royal Rumble may be coming to the Connecticut political arena just in time for the 2010 election!

picture-2315Linda McMahon, CEO of the WWE and wife of the organization’s Chairman, Vince McMahon, has announced her intentions to run for the Republican nomination for Connecticut Senatorial Seat currently occupied by “Kid Dynamite” Chris Dodd. Instead of the engaging in the typical electoral process, The Moderate Mawler is aiming at a steel cage ladder match lasting three falls. Should Mrs. McMahon take the Senatorial Championship, CSPAN is expected to become a lot more interesting as it will feature frequent filibusters from the likes of Macho Man Randy Savage and The Rock, not to mention every Monday Night you’ll be able to catch CSPAN Raw where government disputes are settled in the ring. Now that’s what I call Government!

Rifqa Bary Helps America Step Backward

9/15/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under US

picture-930When America learned about Rifqa Bary’s story a few weeks ago, those who were already convinced that Islam is evil received further affirmation for their beliefs. The occurrence was a perfect indication not only of Islam’s supposedly murderous nature, but also of the saving grace of Christ. It was big news.

Truthfully, it’s not so big news. It’s not even the truth. But let’s talk about it anyway. (more…)

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Gossip

  • Renaming Mel Gibson’s Octo-Spawn

    11/03/09

    The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
    The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
    Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up [...]

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  • Jackson Biography Draws the Attention of Hollywood & Interweb

    10/28/09

    In a triumphant posthumous return to the trending topics, Michael Jackson reared his beautifully-singing head on the social web when chatter about the release of his film biography reminded everyone just how influential his passing was. The new picture documents the life of the icon, along with (very) recent footage of Jackson prepping for his [...]

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  • With Great Power Comes Great Twesponsibility

    10/15/09

    Last night, thousands of status updates were sent out into the Twittersphere by concerned individuals who believed they were passing on an Amber Alert for a three year old boy. Descriptions of the perp’s Mitsubishi Eclipse and license plate spread like wildfire, and #98B351 quickly became a trending topic. Not long after, celebrity @KhloeKardashian retweeted [...]

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  • Jon and Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon

    9/29/09

    Bad news, Ed Hardy fans: it’s been scientifically (read: conditionally) proven (read: suggested) that wearing the brand 24/7 will ruin your career. At least, that’s what it—coupled with a series of other bad decisions—did for Jon Gosselin. The horrific fashion victim, best known for his appearances on the reality program Jon and Kate Plus [...]

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  • Imma Let U Finish But Kim Was the Most Famous Kardashian of ALL TIME

    9/24/09

    It’s kind of unfair: pro basketball players are typically ginormous, but they’re always hanging out with diminutive cheerleaders, models and actresses. While we fully support the concept of giving the spoils to the victors (did you see our sweet news coverage, by the way?), it’s nice to know that at least one monolithic baller is [...]

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