If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you’re unhappy and you know it, you’re probably watching that episode of Two And A Half Men where Charlie Sheen’s character is awash in his own promiscuity and Jon Cryer’s character whines a lot.
Yes, being happy is as simple as turning off the television, according to a survey of 30,000 Americans conducted between 1975 and 2006 for the General
Social Survey. In the study, scientists concluded that happy people watch an average of nineteen hours of the boob tube or idiot plasma rectangle per week, whereas unhappy people watched twenty-six. “Happy People” are also more socially active, go to their respective religious services more often, never commit crimes, smell nice, eat well, have a certain shiny glow, use hyperbole exceedingly well and other sweeping positive generalizations.
So what lessons, if any, can we take away from this survey? Well, for one, watching TV for a living is probably the most miserable job of them all. Secondly, we should budget those 19 hours of TV wisely by taking in as many of our favorite shows we can on the Internet.
