…But What’s His Score at LIFE?

2/10/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Life & Culture

Danny Johnson is not just fond of the game guitar hero - he is the living embodiment of a plastic guitar god.

The fourteen-year-old Grapevine, Texas native scored 973,954 points playing DragonForce’s “Through the Fire and Flames,” (best song - cough - ever) during a Guitar Hero III competition at a Best Buy in Midtown Manhattan, annihilating the the top mark previously held by Chris Chike (17, Minnesota) by more than 74,000 points. The video game Van Halen and #1 Guitar Hero in the land may have passed the ultimate test by entering the good graces of the Guinness Book, but when asked
afterwards to point out a tree, he failed miserably.

Tags: Guitar Hero

The Heirs To Uga VII’s Throne

11/20/09

The Story: With the passing of Georgia’s beloved bulldog icon, a new master-mascot must be chosen. Who will it be?
The Search: Uga VII
Some of us are born into greatness and some have it unexpectedly thrust upon us and never learn to deal with it, leading us to end up in rehab. You can count the [...]

Johnny Depp Brings the Sex

11/18/09

The Story: Johnny Depp was named the sexiest man alive according to People magazine. But is he man enough for this title?
The Search: Sexy Johnny Depp
I’m a man, and I find men disgusting. I look at other men, and the last adjective that comes to mind is ’sexy’. However, I can’t deny that among the [...]

Appropriate Publicity Techniques

11/12/09

The Story: Carrie Prejean became extremely flustered while on-air with Larry King. OneRiot breaks down her interviewing tactics, and helps her further her public speaking skills.

The Search: Larry King & Carrie Prejean
With all the pseudo-celebrities emerging over the past decade or so, we at OneRiot have grown increasingly concerned that people are getting famous for [...]

The Galactic Search for Love

11/11/09

The Story: Diaper-wearing Astronaut Lisa Nowak was sentenced today for her cross-country crime. OneRiot casts the movie featuring the out of this world love triangle.
The Search: Lisa Nowak Sentence
Astronaut love is not like regular person love. Maybe that’s why the 2004 story of Lisa Nowak and the space-love triangle that caused her to drive 1000 [...]

Renaming Mel Gibson’s Octo-Spawn

11/03/09

The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up [...]