In some cultures, cameras are believed to steal pieces of your soul. Most Americans don’t buy into that - but recent events involving Shepard Fairey and a picture of Barack Obama suggest that we might want to believe otherwise. Is the camera the culprit? Not exactly. But if the photographer behind that camera works for the Associated Press, you can kiss your autonomy goodbye.

Thanks to copyright infringement laws that allow the AP to call dibs on certain images, guys like Obama can’t lay claim to pictures of themselves (or in this case, the art inspired by them). That signature chin tilt, that particular gaze? Sorry Prez, that belongs to the AP - and they want the big bucks for it.

But don’t worry; there are ways that Barack could have protected Shep from this shituation had he thought ahead, and not one of them involves enlisting Blackwater. AP may have the flash, but we’ve got the fight - and they won’t get your soul if you follow these five easy steps:

DO NOT: Look Towards the Future

Had Obama been looking anywhere else, it it safe to suggest that the AP would have had more trouble identifying the image. As a futuristic gaze is still fairly unique, and therefore more traceable, make sure you look directly at the camera, or slightly askew of it, or even towards last Tuesday.

DO: Grow a Beard

Had Obama a beard on the day that picture was taken, the odds of Shep’s poster having the correct appropriation of hair would have been slim. One millimeter of difference in beard growth or direction would have thrown the AP’s dating system out of whack, making their case null and Fairey a free man. This same tactic works with afros, hairstyles involving lots of teasing, and some of the racier hipster cuts.

DO: Blue Steel Yourself

Zoolander had Blue Steel - what’s stopping you from a signature expression (or two hundred)? It’s easy to take back what’s yours - just grab a camera, start making faces, and submit each of the shots for trademarking. Had Obama done this with that signature gaze, he could’ve blasted AP for ripping him off.

DO NOT: Sign That Paper

If an AP photographer asks you to sign anything, write “GO SUCK YOUR OWN LIFEFORCE” on his/her forehead. They’ll promise you fame, fortune and syndication, but don’t give in – if you do, you’re only days away from suffering small town newspapers paying them for pictures of you.

DO: Practice Your Right to Photobomb

A pictures only worth a thousand words if it’s A) In focus; B) In demand; and C) Qualified for national distribution. Mess anyone of those things up and you’ve saved another potential victim from the machine. This tactic was invented by college students (and typically involves flashing body parts), but you can take it as far as you’d like. Rush in, rush out, and shazam: you just infringed on copyright infringement.

UPDATE: Here’s a tactic we left out: Sue them back. (Fight ‘em hard, Shep!)