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Stimulate Me: $838 Billion Bailout is Official

2/11/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy, US

Not since Bob Dole stumped for Viagra has there been this much ado about the government’s need to bring about a rise in the good fortunes of the American Public.

In hopes of lifting the nation from it’s financial doldrums, the United States Senate has finally passed the long-awaited, long-debated stimulus plan to combat the nation’s worst financial crisis in decades. The $838 Billion bill garnered the favor of only three Republicans en route to a 61-37 margin of passage, as a spirit of partisanship continued to mar the institution of government despite President Obama’s efforts to make both the Dems and the G.O.P. play nice in this time of crisis. While the bill did pass, further negotiations took place late last evening to get the figure down around $790 Billion, forcing both sides to make compromises. Included in the concessions: a cutback on a $35.5 billion proposal to provide a $15,000 homebuyer tax credit that the Senate had approved the week before, and a several more nitpicky edits. For instance, the Republicans really wanted the Meat Lovers pizza to tide them over during the late night session, but the Dems outvoted them in favor of a more practical plain pizza with no extra cheesy bread, saving the US over $1.50 a head.

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