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Billionaires Fight Arch Enemies, Social Issues

5/21/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy, US

The invitation read “Billionaires only.” If millionaires even stood a chance of attending the top secret pow wow of the world’s most powerful philanthropists, they’d have to apply for waitstaff positions. Lord knows they could use the extra cash.

They were all there, inside the hallowed halls of Rockefeller University earlier this month. Ted Turner, Warren E. Buffett, George Soros, New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg, Bill Gates, David Rockefeller Sr., and of course Oprah.

So what did this well-to-do gang of do-gooders, who since 1996 have contributed an estimated $72.5 billion to charitable causes, discuss during the hush-hush session put together by the all-powerful Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation? Early rumors suggested the “talks” were merely a front for the induction of Oprah into the Illuminati amidst a slew of ritual sacrifices of every single member of the Justice League.

However, word has since recently come down from on high that the sage Samaritans tackled tough issues and brainstormed for “ways to promote efforts to solve growing social problems in America and abroad.” Sure, the earlier rumors were a lot more interesting, but in the end it’s good to know that these dollar dynamos are using their money for good instead of evil.

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