While men and women of the cloth usually bolster hope and faith in the members of the communities they serve, one nun is taking the fun out of sports for triathletes all over America. Sister Madonna Buder, a 78-year-old nun with more than half a century of experience serving the Lord, is a sporting menace. Realizing her skill for running and subsequently biking and swimming at the age of 52, Sister Buder has been dominating triathlons for 20 plus years.
Though young non-athletes find her drive inspiring, her competitors see things differently. “She’s ruining it for all us young guys” said Brent Lancewood, a three time Ironman champion who lost the last three races to the tenacious sister. “I shudder before every race against her. She’s a damn beast.” Many of the athletes complain that Sister Buder is ungracious in her competitive nature. Several have come forward with allegations of extreme hazing. “She hit me with a ruler one time” said an anonymous cyclist.
For now, there appears to be no end in sight to Sister Buder’s commanding stamina. No official dares reprimand her and none of her competitors have what it takes in the game - it’s almost like she has God on her side. Angels at her back. “Insert supportive religious cliche here.”
