Get out your light sabers, call up your best wookie friend and prepare to defend yourself against the dark side, because it’s Star Wars Day! Yes, all over the world people who think “May the 4th be with you” is a funny joke because it sounds like “May the force be with you!” will be spending the entirety of their Monday engaging in marathons of all six Star Wars movies and The Ewok Adventure while pretending that the three most recent prequels are not blights on cinematic history.
In addition to not getting laid, the majority of participants will argue whether Lando Calrissian or Han Solo is the true captain of the Millenium Falcon, and tell tall tales of stalking Mark Hamill in parking lots, before re-enacting crucial moments of The Empire Strikes Back with their still sealed action figures. These are not the good times you’re looking for.
