A Utah middle-schooler tore down the securing walls that took legislation centuries to build around Utah youths and exposed his school-mates to a disturbing alternate reality: an upside-down world in which birds swim and fish fly; people eat with their asses and sh*t out their mouths; and where boys wear skirts and…well, boys wear skirts.

Gavin McFarland sought to open the eyes of the other children at his middle school to the nation of Scotland through a controversial class presentation that provoked an uproar the likes of which have never before been seen in the state of Utah. To illustrate the cultural sin that Scots-people have been known to wallow in since their inception, Gavin, a boy, adorned himself in women’s garments. When his subversive tactics were discovered by the administration, the holy hand of principal Craig Jessop descended upon the lad (or ‘laddy’) to administer reprimand.

Jessop’s noble efforts to protect the well-being of children across the state were smashed down when a power even greater than he cast a decision before the panicking masses. Nate Taggart, who is even more badass than his name, spoke on behalf of the powers at Weber school district and demanded that Jessop apologize to the child, practically endorsing the cross-dressing of Utah children. Young Gavin stated that he would stop wearing the kilt if it proved to be for the greater good of his community, but that he would never, under any circumstance, start wearing underpants.