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In Iran, Truly, Everyone Wins

6/12/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under International Affairs, Politics

Text messaging was blocked all day, rendering youngsters unable to quickly convey campaign messages, organize rallies, or to meet up at Iftikhar’s later for some sheshandaz and haftabijar.

In light of a couple of big debacles in our recent history, including ballot fraud, a stolen election, and the likely ongoing Franken/Coleman bout, America can feel proud about our ability to rig a ballot. But even our refined skill is constantly overshadowed by nations in the third world. Iranians voted for their president today, choosing between a former prime minister purported to be the reform candidate Mousavi and the lovable and familiar Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Voter turnout was estimated to be an astounding 22 percent; the mark of a populous so enthusiastic about its government that they somehow managed to elect both parties. In Iran, truly, everyone wins.

Backed by the nations ruling council of brown Santa Clauses, Ahmadinejad was expected to emerge the victor unscathed. However, the youth movement backed his reformist rival with enough numbers to put a dent in the incumbent’s base.

Measures were put on place on election day which, while under the guise of creating a level battle field, seriously thwarted Mousavi. Text messaging, a major tool for the youth movement, was blocked all day, rendering youngsters unable to quickly convey campaign messages, organize rallies, or to meet up at Iftikhar’s later for some sheshandaz and haftabijar.

While poll results vary between sources reporting them, it looks like Ahmadinejad will retain his post and continue the grueling task of appeasing the dozen 75-year-olds that really make the rules and futily trying not to sound like a jerk off to the rest of the world.

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