PETA, the organization best known for convincing beautiful women to pose naked for their cause and for the civil practice of symbolically throwing blood red paint on people wearing fur, has taken up arms against a new oppressor of the Kingdom of Animalia: President Barack “Quick Draw” Obama. The leader of the free world was caught on tape impressively using his lightning fast reflexes to end the life a common housefly whilst it buzzed around his being during an exclusive interview. As a result of Commander-in-chief’s savage swattery, PETA has sent his Executive Highness a message in the form of a less vicious device for ridding pests from the President’s sphere of personal space, a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher.
PETA spokesman, Bruce Friedrich, went on to to say that the organization is in favor of “compassion even for the most curious, smallest and least sympathetic animals” in the hopes that the President might, from now on, put flies in one of those categories. On the bright side, the new gift will allow for the creation of a new White House Presidential Pest Control post that will entail whomever is appointed to follow Obama at all times with said fly catching instrument. PETA followed up the giving of their less brutal bug basher with the announcement of
their new “get cozy with bedbugs” initiative, which was accompanied by a photo of a nude Pam Anderson with her privates strategically covered
by the mattress menaces.
