Handshakes are way too corporate, and high-fives are just so old-school. The world needs a new dominant greeting ritual, and thanks to the Obama’s famous public display of two knuckles pounding, the popularity of the “fist bump” is beginning to skyrocket. Today that rocket may shoot even higher, as June 3 marks the first installation of National Fist Bump Day, a full 24 hours of bumpin’ and greetin’ that should de-stuff boardrooms everywhere.
Celebrate friendship, America, and metaphorically join hands by making the conscious decision not to.
While transitions from medieval forms of hand introductions are always difficult, our list of five reasons why the fist bump rocks should help you easily wave good-bye to traditional hand-hellos. Celebrate friendship, America, and metaphorically join hands by making the conscious decision not to.
1. Sweat baby, sweat baby, sex is a - what? We’re not reciting Bloodhound Gang lyrics? Ohhh, palm sweat. Disgusting.
2: Cool Points. Like, five of them. Ten if you use both hands, 65.5 million if you do it on stage at the Democratic National Convention with your wife.
3: Dead fish, iron fist, jaws of death, culture clutch, firm, flimsy, fake, wiry, prolonged, awkward, over-confident, under-confident. In other words, handshakes are insights into some personality types that should stay under wraps. Defend yourself.
4: No one ever got pregnant after fist bumping - not even the person that told you you could get AIDS from a toilet seat could argue with that.
5: Prevents Swine Flu.
5. Prevents epidemic of epidemic proportions, measured by real illnesses as opposed to placement on internet “trending topics” lists.
OneRiot out- pound it.
Image cred: Knucklehead
