As our lives have grown more dependent on cell phones, many have speculated as to what horrible long term consequences from using such a device would emerge. Government surveillance? Traffic Accidents? Brain tumors? We could not have even imagined a situation so dire. It began when 66-year-old Donna Malloy was carrying a cup of coffee and some grain biscuits to her living room, then felt a tingle…in her elbow.
Needless to say, she dropped her treats, and coffee and biscuits flew everywhere. Clumsy old lady, right? Wrong.
Mrs. Malloy is the first reported case of a condition experts believe could become epidemic. Because of the sudden proliferation of cell phones in the mid to late 90s, ‘cell phone elbow’ has been developing under the radar. Cell Phone Elbow, a sleeper plague now ready to strike, is caused by the constriction of a nerve in the arm that controls one’s smaller fingers. Extended periods of handset use can lead to all sorts of tingles and difficulty opening jars. Mrs. Malloy has been suffering the plight of sandwiches without the tangy zip of Cool Whip for weeks.
Doctors are unsure of the potential magnitude with which cell phone elbow will unfold, but for now it stands as further evidence that we have managed to infiltrate our very physiology with convenient technology and it’s gradually making us softer and softer.
I can see texting thumb becoming a much worse epidemic in my house.
Booo