Shatner Remixes Palin Farewell Speech

7/28/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Life & Culture, Politics, US

UPDATE: YouTube had to pull this video because of copyright issues, but you can find it on Hulu here!

In our mind Sarah Palin never gave a farewell speech, but William Shatner did recite a beautiful poem.

In every era there is a man for all times. A man whose artistry, integrity, and way with the spoken word mesmerizes those who he comes into contact with. For this time, right here, right now, that man is none other than Captain James Tiberius Kirk, himself…Mr. William Shatner.

Last night on the The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, the Septagenarian starfleet commander helped make sense of what we referred to yesterday as a “rambling, incoherent speech” by former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. What had once been an aimless collection of meandering thoughts when first uttered by their original speaker were suddenly transformed into a flourishing garden of ideas and expression as Mr. Shatner made them his own, forever. In our mind Sarah Palin never gave a farewell speech, but William Shatner did recite a beautiful poem.

The Heirs To Uga VII’s Throne

11/20/09

The Story: With the passing of Georgia’s beloved bulldog icon, a new master-mascot must be chosen. Who will it be?
The Search: Uga VII
Some of us are born into greatness and some have it unexpectedly thrust upon us and never learn to deal with it, leading us to end up in rehab. You can count the [...]

Johnny Depp Brings the Sex

11/18/09

The Story: Johnny Depp was named the sexiest man alive according to People magazine. But is he man enough for this title?
The Search: Sexy Johnny Depp
I’m a man, and I find men disgusting. I look at other men, and the last adjective that comes to mind is ’sexy’. However, I can’t deny that among the [...]

Appropriate Publicity Techniques

11/12/09

The Story: Carrie Prejean became extremely flustered while on-air with Larry King. OneRiot breaks down her interviewing tactics, and helps her further her public speaking skills.

The Search: Larry King & Carrie Prejean
With all the pseudo-celebrities emerging over the past decade or so, we at OneRiot have grown increasingly concerned that people are getting famous for [...]

The Galactic Search for Love

11/11/09

The Story: Diaper-wearing Astronaut Lisa Nowak was sentenced today for her cross-country crime. OneRiot casts the movie featuring the out of this world love triangle.
The Search: Lisa Nowak Sentence
Astronaut love is not like regular person love. Maybe that’s why the 2004 story of Lisa Nowak and the space-love triangle that caused her to drive 1000 [...]

Renaming Mel Gibson’s Octo-Spawn

11/03/09

The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up [...]