The internet has led us individualistic Americans to monumental changes in self discovery. We once stopped at pondering the simple, yet impossible questions, such as ‘What job should I pursue?’ and ‘What will make me happy?’ A few color coded personality tests and Cosmo compatibility quizzes later, we found that we needed more. Who will I marry? Am I a Ninja or a Zombie? Which Teletubby am I most likely to murder? Today, a chunk of Twitterific Americans asked the most profound query yet: Which Seinfeld character am I? We’ll be damned to hell if we’re not finding out.
While it’s difficult to categorize actual people into resembling an equally neurotic comedian, bald guy, half-retard, or sexy bitch, we must recognize that these are the new frontiers of self diagnosing personality disorders. Psychologists advising against such procedures ignore the accuracy of their results. Personally speaking, most of this writer’s friends would have labeled him a Kramer. Lo and behold, the test results hit the mark. Though I felt no surprise, I was awestruck by the gratuitous insight of a simple computer program. I can now strongly recommend that everyone take this test and alter their life drastically based on its outcome. If you don’t take it, you may never know…
(This post was edited three times in order to avoid any comedic references alluding to the hit television series Seinfeld)
OMG! Oh No, I’m NEWMAN! ROFLMAOITKOYH! TTFN! BYOB!