As much as dictator/supervillain Kim Jong Il hates surprises, he was ecstatic Tuesday to receive an his old friend, former US president Bill Clinton on an unexpected visit. North Korean officials greeted Clinton with jovial handshakes and flowers delivered by one of the isolated nation’s few non-starving children who wasn’t occupied by preparations for Arirang.
The two world figures with oh so disparate Q ratings reportedly discussed a wide range of topics, including the two American reporters currently being held in North Korea, the lack of effect of global economic downturn on a completely isolated nation that was already suffering, and who would die next on True Blood. Sensitive subjects such as the soaring price of kim chi were left off the table, an omission arising from diplomatic intent on the part of Clinton.
The banquet held by Kim for Clinton proceeded amicably, although Clinton politely refused to consume any meat in the available smorgasbord due to potential threats to his allergy to human flesh. A photograph showed the two leaders standing side by side, their expressions suggesting that much of the pleasure belonged to Kim, a man who has had limited visits from anyone who considers him a friend, let alone a former US president. Kim’s excitement at the company confirmed that it is, indeed, lonely at the top, even when the thing you’re on top of is a heap of dead people from your own country.
