Last year’s “Chinese Democracy” album from Guns ‘n’ Roses may have been one of the most anticipated albums in decades, but it pales in comparison to the bubbling excitement over the upcoming release by multi-genre supergroup The Pearly Gates. The band has been working hard since 1977 when lead singer Elvis Presley faked his own death in anticipation of all of the other musical talents he could recruit to fake their own death and record what has been long-billed as the “most important album of all-time.” While Presley has been laying down initial tracks with the help of Kurt Cobain, Liberace, and Tupac, the final piece of the production puzzle was completed back in July when the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, faked his own death (years after being courted by Elvis through his daughter and MJ’s future wife, Lisa Marie).
Most people took MJ’s demise for the real thing, what with that impressive memorial service and a handy medical scapegoat, but with the emergence of recent video footage of someone slightly resembling the gloved one emerging from a coroner’s van, it’s all pretty apparent that the thrones of both the King of Pop and The King are still warm. While the album might take on an entirely different direction with Jackson’s added melodic sensibilities, it’s still expected to cut across all musical boundaries and transcend dimensions to affect both the dead and the living. Assuming we’re correct about the fact that all of those people involved in the album aren’t actually dead and the video of Jackson getting out of the coroner’s van is valid, expect the album to drop in about 9 years or so just in time for the 2018 Comeback Special.
I’m fully convinced of the authenticity of this footage and am patiently awaiting the forthcoming Pearly Gates album