It was a hot, sweaty, steamy July night in the Magic City; the kind of night ripe for a fictionalized account of a heinous crime. The crowd at Georgie’s Alibi, the Wilton Manners area of Miami’s premiere gay bar, was positively jumping. The throbbing music was making the crowd move and the birthday party being held had the patrons giving off a radiant vibe. Little Hudson Hayward Hemingway was looking good as he quietly sat in his specialty bag scoping out the crowd, clad in his own soft pink coat accented by the pink earrings on his furry yet pointy four-month-old chihuahua ears. Cher’s “Believe” blasted through the speakers and Triple H’s 48-year old owner Brian Dortort shot a look over at his new best friend as if to say, “I believe in life after love as long as I have my adorable pup that I can dress up in a totally ridiculous manner.”
Suddenly, the DJ switched it up with Britney Spears latest hit, “Radar,” and all of the sudden the Britney tattoo on the neck of an anonymous patron was activated. The tingle in his neck ink sent a message to his brain that the gayest thing in the room had to be his. With cold precision, said bar patron made for Hudson Hayward Hemingway and snatched him up, leaving under the cloak of blackness and beats that characterizes most Miami nights. It’s been nearly one month since H3 was snatched and while local police have continued the search with one suspect in mind, they’ve yet to bring in Dan Marino for questioning.
I can only imagine the conversations this dog-napper had with the chihuahua:
“Done you worry little nino, Antonio will take keer of you. Naow, lez go to MagDonnas for a booger and fryessss!