Labor Day Weekend may not mark the official end of summer, but it does account for the mental demise of all of our sunshine daydreams. Before your beach bum bubble is burst by the ides of autumn, you best make sure you’ve gotten all of your summer requirements out of the way. Here are a few things to accomplish this final weekend before your thoughts turn to foliage, football, and full Fridays at the office.
Turn the Heat Up: If you’ve yet to embrace summer lovin’, you’ll have no great stories to tell the T-Birds and Pink Ladies upon your return. Get a move on this weekend by heading to your local pickup spot, whether it be a bar, lounge, mall, or medieval times parking lot and get your woo on. When your Friday thru Monday fling is over, sing a song about it. You’ll feel better about your potential love dumping you in favor of a 4 month relationship with their respective fantasy football team.
Wear White: Don’t just wear one pair of white pants and a white shirt. Wear literally every white item of clothing you’ve neglected during the Summer season. It may not look good, but it’ll get someone’s attention, whether it be that sweet thang you’ve had your eye on or the warden of the mental institution who has something white he wants you to wear after labor day (hint: you can’t exactly move your arms in it).
Chill Out: Take a break from the summer swelter and go somewhere the sun is not so oppressive like Tierra Del Fuego or the Arctic Circle.
Grow Your Brains: Summer is a time for learning, though usually the beach is our classroom and the mistakes we learn from involve selecting the wrong SPF level. That said, if the 1987 film “Summer School” taught us anything it’s that this time of year is a great time to catch up on remedial subjects, so try a two-day seminar in Needlepoint or Advanced Military Strategies.
Barbecue Your Brains Out: If you’ve missed out on prime time grill action this Summer, you’ve done yourself an extreme disservice. Gather your friends together, blast some good tunes (Richard Marx’s “Endless Summer Nights” comes to mind) and set those final few Summer eves aflame…at least until that Autumn chill puts out the fire.
Have a safe and happy Labor Day, everyone!
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