The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up new piece of offspring, Mel Gibson and Russian girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, steered clear of the whack baby-naming trend with the acceptably normal baby handle of Lucia. While we’re disappointed with Gibson’s inability to shock with his baby-naming skills, we guess his other forms of insanity will have to suffice. Still, it’s more fun to ask what if - as in, what if Mel Gibson let his celebrity insanity carry over to his children by way of oddball names? What could he have come up with? In honor of Gibson’s eight children, we present you with Top 8 alternative crazy Mel Gibson baby names.
1. Sugartits Plum Fairy Gibson- Mel Gibson obviously has respect for females. Otherwise he wouldn’t have knocked up his wife seven times and drunkenly referred to the cop that pulled him over for DUI as “Sugartits”. Sugartits alone sounds a little crass to name a baby girl…but by taking after Bob Geldof who just seems to adorn birth names with plenty of pretty words, Plum Fairy should make little SugarT a rather precious addition to the family tree.
2. Riggs Murtaugh Gibson- Named after his and Danny Glover’s characters in the Lethal Weapon series, this name sets an example of racial tolerance. If Riggs and Murtaugh could work together to bring down Apartheid in Lethal Weapon 2 then the world can be a better place if we all work together regardless of race…unless Jews get in the way. Because according to Gibson the Jews are responsible for starting all wars.
3. The Boy Without A Face Gibson- One day that boy will grow up to be a “The Man Without a Face…Gibson”.
4. Office Max- There can only be one Mad Max. Mel names one son Office Max so he realizes he is predestined to run the business side of Icon Productions.
5. Another Hero Gibson- Despite Tina Turner’s contention on the Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome soundtrack that “we don’t need another hero” Mel Gibson makes sure we have got one.
6. Malibu Gibson- Even if Mel Gibson’s claims to own all of Malibu were not true…had he named one of his daughters this, he’d now be able to claim that without him there’d be no Malibu.
7. Passion of the Christ Gibson- Mel gives the name of his greatest labor of love to a result of hours of laborious lovemaking.
8. Maverick Braveheart Gibson- Mixing these two key Gibson roles would make for one of the most audacious naming attempts in celebrity history. Suck on that Pilot Inspektor.
While we’re just dreaming “what could have been” with the Gibson clan, there are enough celebrities out there who will keep the outrageous baby names coming. One thing’s for sure: somewhere in the near future there’s bound to be an upper echelon boarding school with an entire classroom full of children named after inanimate objects and ultimately making an English teacher’s job of defining a proper noun utterly impossible.
I wish OctoDad all the luck in the world, may all his children be blessed with great health and a happy life. The little girl, Lucia is lucky to have a dad like Mel. I think he should have named her, Riley after his mother.