The Story: Little Facebook tweaks are not the kind of changes we want to see.  If you’re going to do Facebook updates Matt, give the people what they want.

The Search: Facebook Changes

As the Facebook community grows, it appears more and more like a nation, with terms and conditions as a constitution, pictures as currency, and people looking for lewd examples of currency as the peace keepers. It’s true for each individual citizen as well. Relationships rise and fall over status updates and picture comments. Lovers quarrel over relationship status, and friendships tear apart over the act of unfriending. Seeing how personally people take changes to the social networking site, Mark Zuckerburg and the Rulers of the Face Kingdom try and incorporate peoples desires into Facebook. This democratic process has led to many changes, well-received and hated alike. Today, Zuckerburg announced more changes to the geographical networking aspect. To many, these updates are the last thing we care bout. How about some real change, Zuckerburg? Isn’t that what you promised in your 2008 campaign to become president of Facebook? Here’s stuff we want to see.

The Dislike Button
Is 3,728,544 votes not enough to get you clowns to add a dislike button? C’mon, we know you know what we want. Is it that you’re trying to keep Facebook from becoming a platform for negative confrontation? Notice that social networking sites immensely fuel phenomena like cyber bullying, the organization of violence-oriented events, and young kids talking about forms of sex that would make Dr. Ruth blush. If you really want to cut out on the mean aspect of Facebook, then cut out the source of the problem: 350 million human beings. Since we know you won’t do that, embrace your citizens and add the damn dislike button.
No More Spam Games
I know you guys are pretty good when it comes to spam. If spam were STDs, then Facebook would be a virgin and MySpace would be one seasoned hooker. However, that statement doesn’t include those horrible games that are all over Facebook. Enough with that. If I want to play Knights vs. Lesbians, I’ll seek it out myself, thanks. I don’t need to see notifications that I think are legitimate communique when it’s actually just every jackass I know hitting me up to play cyber-Slamball.

Hide My Relationship Status
It’s not good that couples are forced to face the decision of whether or not to be public about their relationship via Facebook. I don’t think the leaders of Facebook realize that the Relationship Status conversation often turns into an unnecessary state of the union debate that probably kills more relationship saplings than it helps. On top of that, everyone in the world knows and has something to say when a relationship begins or ends. There’s no way you can make yourself single again, or enter another relationship without the knowledge and subsequent judgment of your friends, your ex, your ex’s friends, other women you hope to one day pursue, your mom, your dad, your younger siblings, other people to whom you are a role model, etc. This needs to stop. Please. Make it stop.

So, Facebook people, it looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you. Make these changes and be prepared for more feedback. Don’t argue with us, for we have no qualms with deleting our profiles. I’m serious, we’ll totally do it.