The Story: Here are just three out of the many problems we see with the new whites only basketball league.
The Search: White Basketball league
Augusta Georgia is a town that does things differently. 30 years ago, they came out with a salad that didn’t contain lettuce. 14 years later, they started a klezmer band without any Jewish members. Today, Augusta contributed once again to the tradition of doing something without doing it right by starting an all white basketball league. Question: Who the hell is the projected audience? Here are a few problems we see with the proposed business model.
League founder Don “Moose” Lewis, who has the whitest name and nickname in the history of the world, claims that people want to see basketball with good fundamentals, and none of the flare and grandeur of the NBA. We hate to break it to you, Moose, but this type of league already exists. It’s called the WNBA.
The league is planned to start in 12 US cities. However, we’re not sure if the communities that would foster a sports league with an overtly racist premise can be considered ‘cities’. More like a few sparsely populated midwestern towns that are looking for an event to fill the gap between the Tuesday/Thursday Klan meetings. We’re betting it ends up being a novelty act that tours with a few county fairs before fizzling out.
We recommend that Lewis pick a sport for his all white league that isn’t directly hindered by being white (see Snipes pages 4 to 136). Over the years, such sports have been diminishing in numbers. Golf is dominated by an Asian/black man, England’s cricket team has been spanked for decades by teams from the countries that were formerly its colonies, and in baseball, HGH is an equal opportunity option. How about tether ball?
