The Story: Virgin Galactic is offering trips into space at $200,000 a seat. If we’re going to give up the cash, we’ve got some additional expectations.
The Search: Virgin Galactic
Space may be the final frontier, but seeing as regular people (with tons of money) will be able to get up there and check it out before the end of 2010 sort of makes the future seem a little bleak. Alas, it’s inevitable: Virgin Galactic has announced that its consumer tourism rocket—a $200,000 per-seat blast into the outer atmosphere—will be finished and ready for takeoff very soon.
Quite possibly the most ridiculous consumer product ever built, the SpaceShip Two will take passengers into a place previously reserved for professional astronauts and the cast of Apollo 13. And while getting into space is one thing, we’re a little confused as to what constitutes the six-figure boarding pass. Of course, we’re not known for shying away from assumptions; here are some things we’d expect to get on our inaugural flight to the outer limits:
+ A commemorative space suit with monogrammed nametag
+ A photo album entitled ‘My First Mission’ with one of ten customizable themes and built-in audio accompaniment for each photo, recorded by John Glenn
+ A two-day, three-night retreat on Richard Branson’s private island to decompress after landing
+ A complimentary copy of Space Balls on Blu-Ray
+ Freeze-dried ice cream
Does anyone reading this have a ticket for the maiden voyage? If so, be sure to comment and let us know how close we were on these predictions.
Bill Oefelein: The man at the center of this triangle…or I suppose he’s one of the angles…is a real piece of work. While married, he had an affair with Nowak, only to later leave both his wife and Nowak for Colleen Shipman, prompting Nowak’s infamous diaper ride. Wow! Just ’cause he’s an astronaut, doesn’t mean he’s not a complete bastard, right? There’s only one man who could play such a rotten guy while still allowing the audience to see what these ladies see in him: Bill Paxton. You might think that his roles in Apollo 13 and Big Love led us to this decision. Wrong. It was his role as Coconut Pete in 2004’s Club Dread. Don’t bother trying to figure that one out, it’s way over your head. 
Buddy Up