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Posts Tagged ‘Celebrities’

Mel Gibson Breaks Out an Oksana

4/29/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip

It’s been several weeks since his divorce was finalized, so Mel Gibson decided it was about time to break out the brand new beau. The 53-year old Hollywood heart throb was accompanied by 38-year-old Russian composer/actor Oksana Grigorieva to the premiere of the new “Wolverine” flick. The duo have reportedly been dating for three years as Mel and his wife of 28 years were more or less seen as “on the rocks” since his 2006 DUI arrest.

Grigorieva was previously in a relationship with ex-James Bond actor, Timothy Dalton, with whom she has a son. We’re not sure what attracted the Soviet beauty to the controversial star, perhaps they shared similar views regarding the Jews and their role in starting all wars, or maybe it’s that she has a fondness for responding to pet names like “Sugartits.”

Undercover Wedding for Willis

3/23/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip

Following the lead of his cougariffic ex-wife Demi, 54 year-old Bruce Willis tied the knot this past weekend with substantially younger actress/model Emma Heming.

The couple said, “I do” at the actor’s home in the popular tropical locale of Turks and Caicos.  On hand for the festivities were Mr. and Mrs. Kutcher, as well as Moore and Willis’s children, Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah Belle.  The ceremony took a turn for the worse when Ashton objected, but Demi’s boy toy later explained it was all a stunt for the latest season of Punk’d. Those on hand ultimately described the festivities as  ”Die Hard” on a beach.

Silverman & Kimmel Call it Quits

3/09/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Gossip

The world is in mourning today after hearing of the tragic second split of dream-couple Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman. No one suspected that demure and doe-eyed Silverman could ever permanently separate from the side of her strapping and handsomely chubby Prince Charming, but alas - the on again, off again couple is laughing no more.

The Sarah-initiated split has left Kimmel on an emotional rollercoaster, and sources close to the late night host were quoted at saying, “he’s bummed.” This obviously translates into “he’s a sh*&-show mess and is so lonely it’s unbelievable. How could that Silverman be such a heartless bitch?”

The fairy-tale courtship began six years ago after meeting on a Comedy Central’s roast of Hugh Hefner. There, Sarah declared her immediate attraction to him by dubbing him as fat and uncharismatic. The rest fell into place, and soon they were Hollywood’s most powerful and respected couple.

There has been no word since the split over whether Silverman has gone back into the arms of her old flame Matt Damon, but YouTube should tell us soon.

Chris & Holly Aren’t Making Magic Anymore

2/26/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip

At the moment we’re not sure we can handle the emotional intensity of this one, so we’re just going to lay it out there. Brace yourselves: pansy-ass guido illusionist Criss Angel and bobblehead blonde bombshell Holly Madison have called it quits. Details of this incredibly sad sob story involving two totally relevant and important cultural figures are a little hazy at the time, but it seems as though Madison’s “career goals” can be blamed for the split.

Though this breakup is really, seriously depressing for all parties—including a particular OneRiot writer who had Vegas money on it ‘going the distance, bro’—sources say the pair have remained amicable and still care deeply for one another. As for now, the former girl next door has been spotted in line for reality TV tryouts, hanging by the pool at the Sunset Standard, and slinking around outside the Playboy Mansion wondering if she should have left after all. Conversely, Angel has signed on to do his tepid magic show at the Luxor until 2030. It’s a shame, really. With his tricks and her, erm…talents, these two could’ve had it all.

Grey’s Down a Doctor (or Two)

2/11/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip

In a story that would have been far more interesting in 2006, uppity blonde chain-smoker Katherine Heigl has announced her departure from Grey’s Anatomy, the Emmy and Golden Globe-winning primetime drama that used to be every girl in my dorm’s second favorite show.

According to a recent interview in Us Weekly, Anatomy costar James Pickens Jr. suggested that both Heigl and T.R. Knight would be leaving the show before shooting began for the upcoming season. In the past, Heigl and T.R. Knight have been outspoken about their disdain for the show’s production. True, Knight—the victim of another cast member’s homophobic remarks—might’ve been slightly more privileged to his disdain than Heigl, who complained that poor character writing resulted in her snubbing from the 2007 Emmys.

One can’t help but wonder what kind of future awaits Katherine Heigl in the chew-you-up, spit-you-out Hollywood acting melee. Entertainment authority AskMen.com saw her fall on its list of the Top 99 Women from first place in 2008 to something way lower—we’ve abstained from sharing the actual number for her own good—in 2009. Additionally, rumors of Heigl’s insufferable on-set behavior could be finally catching up to her. We at OneRiot only hope that when she does inevitably end up in the latest sequel to Date Movie, she’ll perform with the same grace and poise she did on—oh, wait, nevermind. Good luck, Izzie.

Jett Travolta: Death By Scientology?

1/05/09 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under Gossip, Health

As with any loss of a child, the recent death of John Travolta’s son is a tragedy. But what is more tragic than death is preventable death, and a debate over what category the death of Jett Travolta fits into has already begun.

For years, rumors about Jett’s likely case of autism have been floating through Hollywood. According to several sources, most of whom are directly affiliated with autism societies and support groups, Jett exhibited signs of the disease, but was never treated due to his parent’s association with Scientology, a controversial religion with incredibly strict guidelines regarding treatment of conditions that are not clearly categorized as medical. In fact, Scientology’s guidelines are more accurately described as denials, because the religion doesn’t even recognize autism (nor the therapies that can help those that suffer from it). They are not the only sect to be so harsh in the way their members can address physical or psychological issues, but now that another, media-magnified life may have been taken as a result, they’ll undoubtedly be feeling plenty of heat for it.

Jett reportedly died after hitting his head during a seizure, a common effect of untreated autism. After autopsy results on the dead 16-year-old are returned, Jett’s parents may find out the truth about their son’s condition, which (if tests show that he was autistic) will hopefully help lead Scientologists to better address the disease. Not likely without direct word from Hubbard, we presume (especially taking into consideration other Scientology-related deaths that have done little to change things), but here’s hoping nonetheless.

Michael Jackson vs. Billie Jean: Pt. 2

12/23/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Gossip

Billie Jean is not his lover - and 25 years after his song became a hit, she’s still not the one - but perhaps this time around the kid really is her son. “Billie Jean Jackson,” formerly known as Lavon Powlis, claims that she’s the birth mom of Michael’s youngest, and she’s suing Jackson for one billion, (yes billion,) dollars.

Billie Jean claims she’s actually married to the noseless-pop icon, and is confident that Michael’s youngest child Blanket (6) is actually her own flesh and blood. She’s suing for the one billion dollars in “support of Blanket.” How selfless of her.

This isn’t the first time she’s come a-knockin’ at Jackson’s door. In 1987 she filed a $150 million paternity lawsuit against him claiming he fathered 3 of her children and refused to pay child support. A rep described these claims as “ridiculous and preposterous” and that suit was dismissed. A couple of decades later she was arrested for trespassing on Jackson’s property in 2008. So yeah, she could be crazy… but how great would it be if she wasn’t?

Oh Michael, you should have been careful of what you do, going round’ and breaking young girls hearts… time it might cost you the mega-bucks.

Aniston Darn Near Nakey for GQ

12/11/08 - Posted by Brian Burns under Gossip

In the age of plastic surgery, it’s no surprise when Hollywood stars stay good looking for awhile (like Robert Redford), but Jennifer Aniston is hot. Like hott, hot. And amazingly, we think she just got hottter.

The former Friends star (and current 3rd-party participant in the Brangelina saga), recently posed in nothing but a tie for GQ. Here’s a preview of what 14-year old boys all over America will have under their mattress next week:

Here’s the play-by-play: Jennifer started as a cute (if not awkward) character on a great TV show, got more famous as the sorta puzzling choice of Brad Pitt’s wife, then did a whole bunch of bad movies as the same character. Now- out of the blue- she’s looking like this: A Bond girl with classic girl-next-door charm.

At one point, Brad Pitt’s move to Angelina made sense, at least in a picking Veronica over Betty sort of way. But now it just looks stupid.*

*This sentiment is not anonymously supported by the staff of OneRiot. Not a bit. Nice one, Brian; we could airbrush the crap out of you, too.

The NHL: It’s For Jilted Lovers

12/04/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip

The last woman to affect the outcome of an NHL contest was former Lightning goalie Manon Rheaume. That all changed this past Tuesday when “24″ star Elisha Cuthbert became a hockey force to be reckoned with. She didn’t strap on pads and step on the ice, nor did she come face to face with a cougar in an awkward arena encounter. All the Canadian starlet had to do was come up in conversation.

In a post practice interview in Calgary, the actress’s ex-boyfriend and noted NHL on-ice agitator Sean Avery made a derogatory comment about the Alberta born beauty, and is now paying the price. The Dallas Stars forward remarked to a reporter how it had become “a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds,” referring to the fact that Cuthbert was now dating Calgary Defensemen Dion Phaneuf. As a direct result of the comment, NHL Commissioner suspended Avery
indefinitely for his sexist remark.

Whether or not Avery makes it out of the penalty box anytime soon, the feisty forward always has his Vogue internship experience to fall back on. In related news, I’ve started training with AHL’s Peoria Rivermen in hopes of having a shot at dirty thirds. She’s pretty.

It Don’t Sway the Swayze

12/03/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip

In the 1987 choreography classic Dirty Dancing, Patrick Swayze made it perfectly clear that “nobody puts baby in a corner.” Now the 56 year-old actor is putting his name in the place of baby as tabloid reports have placed him practically on his deathbed.

The star of such films as Ghost and Point Break is attempting to give those unsubstantiated rumors a Road House style pummeling as he continues to work on his new TV series, “The Beast” for A&E. Trustworthy publications such as the National Enquirer recently reported that Swayze gathered loved ones together to say his final, tearful goodbyes before being beamed up to a UFO and flying off to Ice Planet Zektor-18 for a last ditch attempt at finding a cure for the usually fatal condition. However, everyone’s favorite 80’s heartthrob and comedic Chippendales dancer wants to assure everyone that he won’t be jumping into Whoopi Goldberg’s body during a taping of The View anytime soon, as he insists he’s winning the battle with his biological oppressor.

We wish you only the best Mr. Swayze, and to that sentiment we’re sure our readers would say, “ditto.”

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Recent Comments

  • Dada July 3, 2009 9:25 pm I’m very interested in this kind of themed-movies. I absolutely love Tim...
  • David July 3, 2009 4:17 pm children are the most important things in our lives, we have to sacrifice everything for...
  • Jennifer Hodges July 1, 2009 4:40 pm Jayson- what exactly is “adventure music”???
  • Harrry July 1, 2009 1:11 pm IF YOUR HOMETOWN BECAME THE TARGET FOR AN APPROACHING NUCLEAR MISSILE,You would most...
  • Evan Kessler June 30, 2009 8:37 am My little nod to Prince.

Gossip

  • Movie Mays (in Days)

    7/02/09

    Hollywood moves fast. Real fast. And if you’ve had even a pinch of fame during your lifespan, chances are a motion picture production company will be in the works to produce your biopic before you’ve even been buried. So goes the tale of Billy Mays, the pitchman most recognized for his husky/on the verge of [...]

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  • Charts Afire // MJ Memory Fest Proves Pop’s in the Grave

    7/01/09

    Pop musicians got a shock this week when a man who changed the face of their field not only prematurely kicked the bucket, but gave them one final schooling from beyond the grave. Michael Jackson’s music is tearing up the charts and, with much poetic justice, bumping out contemporary pop stars like the Black Eyed [...]

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  • Rick Astley is NEVER Gonna Run Around and Desert You

    6/30/09

    In the days following the death of Michael Jackson, internet hoaxsters have tried their hand at convincing us that famous people are dropping like flies. First there were the Jeff Goldblum rumors, then they told us our beloved Harrison Ford and Britney Spears had gone the way of the dodo.
    Being the astute followers of pop [...]

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  • Pabst: Not Just a Great Beer

    6/30/09

    Forget about purebred pups with pedigrees–This weekend’s top dogshow was all about honoring those canines with mugs that only an owner can love. With gnarly coats, stumpy tails, missing eyes, and scraggly teeth, dogs came from all over the globe to win the coveted title of the World’s Ugliest Dog.

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  • Fate Agrees: Never Stage a Kodak Moment

    6/29/09

    11-Year Old Harvey Kindlon was so close! He managed to get within feet of uber-beauty of the moment Megan Fox at the London premiere of Transformers 2, when his well-documented quest to give her a yellow rose was stymied by the flashbulbs of photo hounds from the UK’s trashiest rags. It seemed all was well [...]

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Stuff We’re Watching

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