Celebrities | Blog.OneRiot.com - Blogging the Pulse of the Web

Ehh… I Think That’s Permanent

12/01/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Because We Feel Like it, Gossip

Ok, so you’re feeling like a complete ass after waking up in Tijuana with a Unicorn tattoo on the small of your back. What sounded like a good idea at the time has turned into a complete nightmare, and now you’ve got the unmemories of your wild night engraved on your flesh.

Although you can’t really do anything about your permanent and colorful design, you can find comfort in that you are not alone. Even the rich and famous make gawd-awful mistakes when it comes to body art- and when we say awful, we mean just about as tasteless, ugly, and skanky as they come. Here’s a list of the worst celebrity tattoos of all time…something that’s making us mere mortals feel a little bit better about ourselves.

Tags: Celebrities, Tattoos

Hulk’s Wife Needs More Juice

11/28/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Gossip

In these difficult economic times, it’s a wonder that Linda Bollea, the soon to be ex-wife of Hulk Hogan, is even getting by on $40,000 a month.

In an effort to prevent her imminent homelessness, the former Mrs. Hulkster is requesting her monthly support check be raised from the aforementioned number to a hefty sum of $400,000. To be fair, the co-star of Hogan Knows Best has been saddled with the care of the couple’s seven dogs and the upkeep of their $7.3 million dollar Bellair, Florida mansion. She also claims that nearly half of the money she receives goes to legal fees caused by delays in the divorce process.

The marriage fell apart after the ex-wrestler and American Gladiator host allegedly had an affair with their daughter Brooke’s best friend, as well as “a roller coaster of numerous occasions of cheating followed by pleas for forgiveness.” Linda claims the divorce proceedings have been “…a complete waste of time, energy and resources to satisfy my ex-husband’s narcissistic need for absolute control and total domination,” yet forgot to add…”in the ring” at the end of that statement. As recently as Nov 11th, the former Wrestling Superstar has asserted his dominance outside the ring in the relationship by reportedly tailgating his wife’s 20-year old boyfriend in his car, then pulling up next to the youngster and staring at him. Some reports say he ripped off his pre-torn shirt and shouted “what’cha gonna do when hulkamania runs wild on you,” though we think that’s just speculation.

Tags: Celebrities

Spiedi Elope with US Weekly

11/25/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Gossip

In a nauseating and desperate scramble to stay in the limelight, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag of The Hills have been married. The couple would like you to believe they “eloped on a whim” in Cabo San Lucas at the One & Only Palmilla Resort last Thursday. However, in an amazing coincidence, photographers and press from US Weekly just happened to be there at the same time to catch it all on camera!

Friends and family were not present, so you know after this “elopement” they couple will have to plan another “wedding” for all guests, (which provides another opportunity to sell those pictures for a pretty penny as well). Montag’s family found out about the elopement at the same time as the general public found out via online celebrity gossip, but who needs family when you’ve got the paparazzi?

Two of the last covers that US Weekly broke featuring the couple were “I was betrayed by Spencer” and “Why I Called off my Wedding” (after they called off their engagement due to “dark sides,” drama, and “another woman”). Glad they patched it all up so quickly and now have a “fairy-tale romance.”

We’ve got bets on them being divorced in less than a year, (Ed Note: And also bets that that bag of a dress Heidi is wearing might maybe potentially possibly indicate that Heidi is knocked) but we’ve got to give the duo credit for being the best fame-whores of the decade!

Tags: Celebrities, The Hills

You Go, Guy

11/21/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip

This is the story of a stand-up dude, and a lesson for wedded embezzlers the world over. After what seems like the longest two-week divorce settlement in history, director Guy Ritchie is finally free from the clutches of his skeletal, Kabbalah-banging pop tart of an ex-wife, Madonna.

Amid rumors of the material girl’s torrid affair with superjock Alex Rodriguez, speculation surrounding Ritchie’s integrity as a man had many—including gay icon Madge herself—believing that his intentions in ending the marriage were financial, but this British badass put his proverbial middle finger in the air and said ‘thanks, but no thanks’ to the millions lawfully entitled to him in the settlement.

Perhaps in an effort to bury the hatchet and prove himself more than just another lowly gold digger, Richie walked with his own earnings and made sure to demand no less than joint custody over the couple’s three children. It appears that for the time being, Lourdes (12), Rocco (8) and David (3) will do a lot of jet-setting between New York and London under an amicable joint custody agreement. Side note: we can’t wait until their socialite status is realized.

The only question left is this: if the parents split custody, which one gets which half of Lourdes’ unibrow? ZING!

Tags: Celebrities, Relationships, Touche

Kelly Bags Teenage Model

11/20/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Gossip

Did you know that Facebook isn’t just a way for you keep track of your 500 friends, or stalk your ex-boyfriend, or develop OCD, or get fired from your job, or embarrass your parents… but also a way to keep updated on celebrity gossip?

Luke Worrall (ya, we’d never heard of him either), recently updated his Facebook relationship status to “engaged to Kelly Osbourne.” The 24-year-old Osbourne has been dating 18-year-old Worrall for 6 months. Good thing the legal drinking age in England is 18, otherwise one might speculate that he’s just marrying up to get someone to do his booze shopping for him. Ahaha… Kidding!

Congrats to the couple if the engagement is legit– and a pox of STDs if this is just a stupid publicity stunt.

Tags: Celebrities, Cradles, Robberies

Women Officially Want in Hugh Jackmen’s Pants

11/19/08 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under Gossip

Some of us knew when we saw him clawing badmen in X-Men; some of us knew when he danced like a flower on Broadway– but now the whole world knows that Hugh Jackman is the Sexiest Man Alive.

Tags: Celebrities, Sexuality

Royalty Deathmatch: Sheik vs. M. Jackson

11/19/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip

Who gets away with seven million dollar gifts? The King, that’s who—or maybe not.

Sources are saying that the former King of Pop, 50 year old Michael Jackson, is tied up in a new lawsuit with Arab Sheik Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa over whether or not a series of payments totaling seven milli were either fronted as gifts or as advances on a recording contract. Safe to say that each party’s side of the story is pretty different, and it totally do matter if they’re black or white.

Al Khalifa’s story goes like this: when Jackson was arrested on child molestation charges in 2003, the sheik (and governor of Bahrain’s Southern Province in Saudi Arabia) hooked up the original man in the mirror with various fat checks for all manner of reasons ranging from Neverland Ranch utility bills to counsel costs incurred unto the singer’s legal team. Then, in 2006, the funds really started rolling in for Jackson when Al Khalifa fronted millions to sustain his lavish lifestyle—funds that, according to the sheik, were granted as an advance to be repaid when Jackson’s career stopped hitting the skids.

Jacko’s story is pretty much the opposite. Nevertheless, he either owes a lot of money to a bunch of people including Al Khalifa, or he owes it to a bunch of people not including Al Khalifa. Either way, it’s bad. Jam on.

Tags: Celebrities, Lawsuits, Music

Miley Cyrus Not Dead

11/18/08 - Posted by Matt Gierhart under Gossip

Poptart Miley Cyrus was recently the victim of an elaborate internet hoax, fooling some of her fans into believing she had been involved in a fatal drunk driving accident.

The rumors were made possible through a youtube hacking/video posting, and involved a fake message from Cyprus’ BFF and youtube costar Mandy Jiroux. The video has since been removed, and Jiroux has set the record straight on her myspace page by announcing “MILEY IS OK!! Some1 hacked our youtube account.”

While all may seem right with the world now that the truth has surfaced, Miley death rumors and potential cover up stories have begun to surface. Let this be a(nother) note to other celebrities that when you need need to score some E! time, but aren’t up for the classic panty-drop/bar-hop, nothing works like a death scare.

Tags: Celebrities, Dark Humor, Music

Lindsay Bombed, Ronson (Gently) Explodes

11/17/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip

Whether she’s writing blog rants about getting out the vote for America’s careless youth, engaging in on-set catfights with Ugly Betty’s America Ferrera, or going on about her newfound love of labia, Lindsay Lohan manages to take hold of drama’s hand and walk it around pretty much wherever she goes. So, it goes as no surprise that the former actress was recently rudely welcomed to Paris by an upstart group of animal rights activists when she showed up to nightclub The VIP Room Theater wearing a stole made out of fur—and not the faux (that’s French for fake) kind.

Reports came in Sunday that Lohan was actually on the receiving end of a ‘flour bomb,’ the slightly-less-invasive-than-paint attack used by some of the more sensible animal rights supporters out there. Club management quickly dusted off the washed up starlet and helped her inside where she and other irrelevant celebrities danced to the music of lover/up-and-coming DJ Samantha Ronson (who later blogged about the incident on Myspace stating, “I think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. Nice job, lady.”). No word on what kind of fur Lohan was actually wearing the night of the debacle, but our money is on beaver.

Tags: Celebrities

Surprise! Kanye Still Loves Himself

11/14/08 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under Gossip

Infamously self absorbed rapper Kanye West has compared himself to Michael Jordan, saying he is to rap what the sports legend is to basketball. For those less savvy to the levels of self-infatuation needed for this comparison, know that all other languages translate this sentence as “I am to music what God was to the creation of the Universe (non-believers insert: “what PBR is to hipsters”).“

Awesome, Kanye, awesome.

UPDATE: Ooh, sorry to hear you got arrested, Kanye. God should never get arrested.

Tags: Celebrities, Musicians

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