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Posts Tagged ‘Cell Phones’

Punch Yourself, Not Digits: Here Comes Cell Phone Elbow

6/02/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Health

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As our lives have grown more dependent on cell phones, many have speculated as to what horrible long term consequences from using such a device would emerge. Government surveillance? Traffic Accidents? Brain tumors? We could not have even imagined a situation so dire. It began when 66-year-old Donna Malloy was carrying a cup of coffee and some grain biscuits to her living room, then felt a tingle…in her elbow.

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Vermont May Support Teen Textuality

4/13/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy, Politics, US

Following the recent rash of controversial occurrences revolving around horny teenagers diddling around with technology, the sexually progressive state of Vermont is toying with the idea of encouraging trashy behavior in teenagers by legalizing the act of ’sexting.’ Sexting is defined as sending of naughty pictures or messages over the world wide phoneweb and under current law, when carried out between consenting teenagers falls under the category of child pornography where those found guilty become slapped with the sex offender label.

Whether or not the law is passed decriminalizing the act most Vermont teens will continue experiment with their sexuality either on myspace or a ratty couch in a friends wood paneled basement while their parents are away. The state however could have plans to discourage budding teen textuality in other ways, like distributing cellular jimmy hats and via state run programs such as “practicing safe cybersex” and “virtual abstinence”.

Typical Myspace Photo Called Criminal

11/24/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under US

Attention all slutty and desperate high school girls: Thinking of taking nudie pictures of yourself and sending them to your classmates? Think again! A 15-year-old in Newark, Ohio has just been arrested after giving her fellow students an extra-saucy photo text, and she’s going to pay for it.

The tween was arrested Friday and held over the weekend where authorities have filed felony charges to the of “Illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material and possession of criminal tools.” If you were one of the select who got to see the little lady in her birthday suite, don’t think you’re off the hook. Authorities are considering pressing charges against those students who received the pictures.

Let this be a lesson to all those kids with aspirations of whoring: Keep your clothes on and the cameras off until you’re at least 18.

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  • Johnny Depp Brings the Sex

    11/18/09

    The Story: Johnny Depp was named the sexiest man alive according to People magazine.  But is he man enough for this title?
    The Search: Sexy Johnny Depp
    I’m a man, and I find men disgusting. I look at other men, and the last adjective that comes to mind is ’sexy’. However, I can’t deny that among the [...]

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  • Appropriate Publicity Techniques

    11/12/09

    The Story: Carrie Prejean became extremely flustered while on-air with Larry King.  OneRiot breaks down her interviewing tactics, and helps her further her public speaking skills.

    The Search: Larry King & Carrie Prejean
    With all the pseudo-celebrities emerging over the past decade or so, we at OneRiot have grown increasingly concerned that people are getting famous for [...]

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  • The Galactic Search for Love

    11/11/09

    The Story: Diaper-wearing Astronaut Lisa Nowak was sentenced today for her cross-country crime.  OneRiot casts the movie featuring the out of this world love triangle.
    The Search: Lisa Nowak Sentence
    Astronaut love is not like regular person love. Maybe that’s why the 2004 story of Lisa Nowak and the space-love triangle that caused her to drive 1000 [...]

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  • Renaming Mel Gibson’s Octo-Spawn

    11/03/09

    The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
    The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
    Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up [...]

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  • Jackson Biography Draws the Attention of Hollywood & Interweb

    10/28/09

    In a triumphant posthumous return to the trending topics, Michael Jackson reared his beautifully-singing head on the social web when chatter about the release of his film biography reminded everyone just how influential his passing was. The new picture documents the life of the icon, along with (very) recent footage of Jackson prepping for his [...]

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