A new terror is stalking the storefronts of Jefferson County, Colorado, where authorities have caught wind of a local evildoer with an unquenchable craving for committing crime. This new breed of thief isn’t in it for the pleasure of pilfering, rather his propensity for engaging in the unsavory act is driven by a not-so-unique addiction.
For the last two years, the Nighttime Nicotine Ninja has burgled over 100 local businesses and stolen over $120,000 in cancer sticks while leaving other in-stock items, most curiously Slim-Jims, untouched. While police have plenty of footage of this butt bandit clad in black from head to toe, they’ve yet to garner any leads as to the identity of the habitual heist mastermind. With a limited description of the burglar circulating, police are on the hunt for someone with eyes that likes to smoke a lot. Area bosses are being encouraged to narc out any employee who seems to be taking smoke breaks too frequently and who appear none too put out when someone tries to bum a cig.
Buddy Up