We’ve all been there before: straddling the big yellow line between Mexico and the Land of the Free, stomach brimming with heroin balloons and a trunk full of Costa Rican mota.* And although the traditional smuggling methods will get you past the average cowboy-hat-wearin’, M16-totin’ border guard, there are some officials that simply beg to be taken for a ride (as indicated by their votes for Sarah Palin). Enter the latest exploration into bizarre and inventive contraband importation schemes, courtesy of Cracked.
Take for example the time Mexican border patrol officers discovered a real live emigrant woman tucked safely into the dashboard of a car, staring complacently out the glove box. Or perhaps you’re more impressed by the giant submarines confiscated while tugging 11 tons of cocaine 300 feet below the surface. But maybe, just maybe, you’re one of the unlucky folks who accidentally overdosed on anabolic steroids in the midst of a sensual romp using some of that trusty Gay Sex Lube you ordered from Thailand. They say it works wonders…when it’s real! Regardless, I think it’s safe to say that though we may all need our fix now and then, the measures international smugglers are going to just to get them to us are starting to reach facepalm-silly levels.
*I guess we haven’t all been there, per se. But we’ve all seen Maria Full of Grace; am I right?
Buddy Up