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Posts Tagged ‘Economy’

Governator 2: Rise of The Budget Deficit

12/11/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under OneRiot News

What happens when you hire a big time action star for the lead role in the state government? Well, amidst a boatload of really awesome shootouts, explosions, and public works projects, you’re probably going to go slightly over budget, even if James Cameron isn’t directing.

That’s the issue facing the State of California (or Cal-uh-four-nee-uh) and the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger, where combination of the current economic downturn and prolonged legislative budget tinkering has put the State’s financial matters in a state of flux.

As early as next week, the state might have to stop production on an abundance of road and bridge projects– not to mention that scene where Arnold and the latest terminator have an all out battle that destroys those road and bridge projects– due to lack of funds. It’s predicted that by March of 2009, The Golden State won’t be so golden, as they won’t even have enough money to carry out day to day operations.

While the state’s budget gap isn’t the biggest it has faced, it has proved increasingly difficult for the state to rely on private lenders to bail them out of their financial woes even after promising them an Executive Producer credit. Credit Analysts blame the crisis not on California’s economy, but on the unrealistic nature of past budgets, and the fact that the State has relied on lenders to rectify their deficit instead of actually coming up with a sensible budget and sticking to it.

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US Economy Channels The 70’s

12/05/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy

Every thing old is new again– just ask retro-rocker Lenny Kravitz, who has made a career out of channeling the 1970’s. But Lenny’s not the only one putting the yes back in yesterday, as the entire work force of the United States is now going for that that 1974 look. No, they’re not putting on bell-bottoms and listening to The Guess Who on their way to the office … but they are out of their jobs in record numbers.

The 533,000 positions slashed this past November matched the largest one-month employment massacre in the U.S. since the final month of 1974, when 603,000 jobs disappeared into the economic abyss. In accordance with the eleven consecutive months of declining employment, the jobless rate now sits at 6.7%, the highest it’s been since 1994. Reacting to the news, President-elect Obama declared that things would get worse before they get better, but he also sees this as “… an opportunity to transform our economy to improve the lives of ordinary people by rebuilding roads and modernizing schools for our children.” And if that doesn’t happen, we can all take solace in knowing that the life of a boxcar hobo can be quite adventurous.

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Mmm, Recessiony.

12/02/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Economy, US

After the Dow Jones’ lackluster revival of The Comeback Kid last week, the market suffered its fourth-worst-ever slide on Monday, dropping another 680 points and closing somewhere between disappointing and deplorable. Oh, you didn’t hear? We’re definitely in a recession now. Market analysts assessed the skid, noting that while it might normally take over a year for the total DJIA to increase by 1,000-plus points, it took only five days for it to do so at the end of November.

While Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson suggested the Bush administration would look for more ways to activate that pesky little $700 billion bailout thing from a few weeks ago, more than a few disheveled Wall Street professionals were overheard trying to get on the horn with Gordon Gekko—and, when that failed, Bud Fox—for some sage advice. Neither of the aforementioned financial experts was available for comment, but over here, we’re still convinced that the key to resolving this issue is in remembering that Blue Horseshoe loves Endicott Steel.

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Shopping Gets Gnarly This Holiday Season

12/01/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under US

Wal-mart employees trampled to death; shootings at Toys ‘R’ Us; hold-ups at a Miami mall: signs of the Apocalypse or merely scientific proof that humans evolved from more animalistic brethren? Neither, ’tis just the start of gift-giving season in the United States of America.

This past Friday, despite a flagging economy, consumers attempted to beat the swarms en route to a new X-Box 360 or nose hair trimmer. Shoppers lined up outside many a store to ensure that they wouldn’t be buying goodies for those they hold dear at the last minute, and stormed the opening times with such intensity that a life was taken in the process.

Retailers noted day after Thanksgiving crowds were slightly smaller than in recent years, and that most shops relied on hefty discounts to entice the thinning herd into buying everything from dollhouses to big screen TVs. While the cut-rates led to a surprising 3% increase in Black Friday sales from last year, the consumer tendency to go for on-sale items left much to be desired in the area of profit margin.

This year’s early shopping frenzy was marked less by focus on must-have items like Wii Fit and Elmo Live and more on practical, less extravagant items like mouthwash and bindles. Customers chose to
stay within their budget rather than splurge. However, many retailers seem optimistic about their profit prospects while tempering lower expectations after the modest beginning to the shopping season. The
good news is, for anyone that didn’t break an arm or leg in the initial surge for savings, you still have about a month to get something for someone you want to convince that you care for.

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Tiger Loses Engine’s Roar

11/25/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy

GM execs probably haven’t given up on flying their private jets door-to-door in efforts to collect funds for this Winter’s anti-bankruptcy magazine and candy bar fundraiser, but they have found a way to cut around $7 million a year out of the budget.

Unfortunately, when $7 million gets saved someone has to feel the weight in their wallet disappear, and this time around that someone is Tiger Woods. Everyone’s favorite PGA Golf Superstar, who has carried a Buick logo on his bag o’clubs for the past nine years through 14 major championships, was said to have come to a mutual agreement with the automaker to end their endorsement deal a year before it was up. We’re not sure how Tiger will deal as he only has a video game franchise, a Nike deal, and several other endorsements to fall back on, but it’s possible he may have to get a job as a caddy at his local country club just to be able send his children to college and keep a roof over his incredibly attractive wife’s head.

On a positive note, he’ll finally get the chance to check out some of that high quality Japanese and German engineering he’s heard so much about.

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Pump it like it’s 1999

11/24/08 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Economy

For the first time since the spring of 2005, the average price of gasoline dropped below two dollars, leading to a spike in the number of drop-top joyriders over the weekend. Reports of drivers flooring it on the highway and idling outside the grocery store inundated nightly news programming, and national suicide-by-asphyxiation rates also hit record highs as the method reemerged as the cheapest available alternative to high-priced prescription drug overdoses.

Dropping over 30 cents in two weeks, the significant decline in prices at the pump is attributed to a crash on the price of crude oil worldwide. Lundberg Survey officials suggest that the price well is a clear component of the current economic crisis. All is not lost for big oil companies, however; Trilby Lundberg, editor of the survey, said that “the end of this price crash is either here or near.” So, if you’re one of those bomb shelter stockpile people, now might be the time to cash in those chips and go on a petroleum shopping spree. You just never know when we’ll be shelling out four bucks a gallon to fuel up for our next drag race again.

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Government Swoops In To Save Citigroup

11/24/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Economy, US

Superhero Government Man is about to rescue another damsel in distress, this time by the name of Citigroup.

The Treasury department, Federal Reserve and FDIC announced on Friday that they were channeling a solid $20 billion into the flagging finance stalwart in the hopes of preventing yet another catastrophic collapse of a longstanding institution.

The boost already has been met with some success, as the market has shown favorable initial response to the move. Citigroup’s stock rose 49 percent in morning trading, and the stock markets in Germany and England gained more than four percent in afternoon trading. The collective financial world is crossing their fingers on this one, hoping to prevent even more financial chaos.

On another note, The New York Mets baseball organization is also knocking on wood for a Citigroup revival, as it’s failure might instigate a renaming of the soon-to-open CitiField to Government Subsidized Stadium.

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