A Lebanese farmer reporting what he thought to be the ugliest potato in existence discovered that the specimen in question may also hold the record for size.
Khalil Semhat of Tyre, Lebanon presented eager members of the press with a 24.9 lb (11.3 kg) potato that looks like something between a lawn gnome and a severely deformed human heart. Semhat, who has been working his field about 50 miles from Beirut since childhood, claims that he has never seen a potato of this size and that he used no chemicals in cultivating his crop. He was weary of accusations regarding the use of TGH (Tuber Growth Hormone) which has been strictly prohibited by Lebanon’s Major League Farming.
When asked about submitting the spud to the Guinness Book, Semhat excitedly stated “!حسنا ، هذا شيء عظيم! الآن أن ابن العاهرة جارة من الألغام في النهاية اغلاق له الداعر “الف”*
He says that once he is acknowledged by the record book, he will ride a tidal wave of fame through the Lebanese state fair circuit to promote his potato and his personal memoir, a tale of farming on the edge, struggling against the weather, having your farm land bombed repeatedly by Israeli troops, struggling some more, and then growing a potato no one wants to eat.
Translation: “Wow! This is great. Now that neighbor of mine will finally shut his f@&k!g! mouth.”
Buddy Up