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Posts Tagged ‘Google Maps’

Events Go Unrecorded By Google Camera

4/03/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Hot Topics

A bevy of angry village people wielding spears and flaming swords attacked a small horseless carriage on Thursday, leaving two heathens lying dead on the city’s cobblestone streets. The executions occurred when residents of the small Broughton colony outside London discovered plans of an outside power known as Google to use a device called a ‘camera’ to aid criminals in pillaging homes and stealing babies. When the town shaman predicted an apocalyptic happening, the citizenry took to the streets.

Little is known about the Googlian intruders beyond their intentions to map civilization once and for all, but thanks to the violent but necessary actions in Broughton, we can sleep safely in our huts for one more night without worrying about the Great Eye.

(This story may or may not be a complete fabrication based on Broughton residents turning away a Google Street View photography crew.)

Google Earth Just Got Awesomer

12/29/08 - Posted by Brian Burns under Hot Topics

British researchers have “discovered” a previously-uncharted part of our globe: a 27-mile stretch of forest around Mt. Mabu in Mozambique. The area, though known to natives, was unknown to the rest of the world (mostly because it lay within a brutal war zone as recently as 1992).

At least, it was unknown before the group of boy geniuses stumbled upon an unmarked patch of green forest on a GoogleMaps. We kid you not. The same application young professionals use to scope out apartments was just used to pinpoint a part of our own planet we didn’t know existed, and in turn helped us find hundreds of new species we didn’t know were there.

The find not only speaks to the majesty of our planet and the wonder of what still remains in our clear view, but it also speaks to the laziness of explorers these days. I mean, really? No one has, like, walked around in Southern Africa since 1992? You needed a computer to find a mountain?

Think about it - what would America be if Columbus had turn-by-turn GPS directions to East Asia? France, that’s what. And that would suck.

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