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Posts Tagged ‘Holiday’

Don’t Be a Bad Santa

12/23/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Hot Topics

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The Story: Don’t be a grinch and skimp on the gifts.  Here are some you should avoid buying at all costs.

The Search: Christmas Gifts

The final hours are dwindling down to that magical moment when you and your family will be gathered by the tree on Christmas morning eagerly awaiting what rewards being on Santa’s nice list and continuing your strained familial relationships hath wrought.  We know you don’t want to spend too much loot on those who rarely factor into your lives even if they are family, but it is Christmas.  So while you’re naturally inclined to wait to the last second to fill the stockings of those who matter the least, there are some lame gifts that defy poor judgment as shining beacons of just how little effort you felt like putting into the giving season.  The following are a few examples of gifts that no one will be thankful for receiving.

screen-shot-2009-12-23-at-54106-pmInternet Address Organizer- In the postal age address books were thoughtful tokens for those less-organized friends who you couldn’t stand to be out of touch with.  Buying someone an Internet Address organizer hints that not only are you wholly unfamiliar with the Internet and its ability to save information such as email addresses, but you probably haven’t the slightest idea nor do you care about any of the likes and dislikes of said gift recipient to buy them something so impersonal and pointless.  Nothing says, “I didn’t really want to get you anything” quite like an Internet Address Organizer.

screen-shot-2009-12-23-at-54111-pmFancy Coat Hangers- As someone who has received the gift of coat hangers as a holiday present, I can unequivocally state that they are in no way worthy of the feigned “thanks” you’d ultimately have to bestow upon he/she who was convinced by QVC hosts that they are a wonderfully practical idea for a present.  That being said, I still have my coat hangers, I’m just not happy about them as a gift. (more…)

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Last Minute Recipes for a Festive Holiday

12/18/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Hot Topics

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It’s pretty much fact that we’re all going to pack on some pounds this holiday season.  Shouldn’t those calories be worth it?  Why settle for ho-hum same ol’ dinner every year when you can spice it up with some new classics?  Hop on over to FoodiePulse for gooey desserts, adventurous wines, recipes and gourmet goodies from the net’s yummiest destinations on the web.  Even better, the updates are sent in a constant stream directly to your twitter account. We’ve picked out some of our favorite seasonal treats to get this holiday rockin’ in style:

screen-shot-2009-12-18-at-53942-pm1Wow your friends and family with some delish’ recipes, and when it’s all over you can jump on over to PulseOnFitness and get started on your New Year’s work out routine….but until then, we say indulge!

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OneRiot’s Guide to Holiday Parties

12/02/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Hot Topics

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The Story: Holiday Parties don’t have to just be about stagnant punch and “Jingle Bells” on track repeat.  Let OneRiot give you a few tips on how to spice up your wintery get-together.

The Search: Holidays

December is at long last upon us and tis’ the season to throw a major rager full of yuletide cheer and crisp cool beer…or if you prefer, hot toddies.  If you’re concocting a party plan along to go along with some holiday punch with extra kick; we at OneRiot have some suggestions on how to make your annual winter gala one for the ages.

Dress for the occasion- We all have that one horrible sweater with reindeer on it that needs considerable dusting off in mid-December before it succumbs to the annual wear and tear of egg nog spills.  Break it out.

Make A Proper Holiday Mix- Start your evening off with some classic winter tunes along the lines of Dean Martin’s- “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and around an hour and a half in when people are starting to get antsy and dancy spring “Do They Know It’s Christmas” and Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” before it turns into a full on 80’s dance party.

Rent A Copying Machine- If you’re having a holiday party and don’t have a copying machine, you’re really missing out.  The room where the copier is the equivalent of a bedroom on MTV Cribs.  It’s where the holiday magic happens. (more…)

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So Much for Responsibility: Alternatives for the Top Toy This Holiday Season

11/30/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Hot Topics

The Story: This year’s hot toy is selling out quick.  You don’t want to disappoint your kid when he/she doesn’t receive that Zhu Zhu Pet, so here are some alternative ideas.

The Search: Zhu Zhu Pet

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In past years parents have trampled each other to death to secure the love of their children by purchasing ticklish Muppets, PSP systems, and the ever-so talkative Furby. This holiday season’s must-have toy is the Zhu Zhu Pet, a robotic rodent without those pesky vital organs.  Face it, taking care of a pet is hard and teaching kids responsibility is a drag when in reality all they want to do with their pet is throw him against a wall or make him do tricks. Zhu Zhu Pets are a win-win for parents who don’t want to clean crap out of a cage, and PETA who won’t have to buy ad time for their annual “Don’t Be Cruel To The Hamsters” campaign. These fuzzballs are the hottest thing not on the equator and obviously hard to come by this season of giving, so we here at OneRiot have a few other gift suggestions that will ensure parents will cement the undying affection of their children forever…or until they realize they’ve been ill-prepared for real world situations. (more…)

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Troubled Youth? Blame Cartman

11/23/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Hot Topics

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The Story: A redheaded boy was beaten on “Kick a Ginger” Day.  Is Cartman to blame?

The Search: Ginger Beat

A 12 year old red haired school student in California fell victim to a new holiday called ‘Kick a Ginger Day’, which involves kicking kids with freckles and red hair. Authorities were quick to abate the idea that kids can be so cruel, and decided that a four year old episode of South Park must have had something to do with it. The episode in question, entitled ‘Ginger Kids’ depicts fat bastard Eric Cartman spouting bigotry directed toward red heads. We didn’t think we’d have to spell this out to people, but we’re gonna have to make one of our famous lists for all the morons out there who can’t sort it out for themselves. Here are reasons why people shouldn’t do things that Eric Cartman does.

He’s hates minorities
Over the years, Cartman has explicitly expressed his hatred for blacks, muslims, hispanics, immigrants, people from the future, people from the past, and most ostensibly in his disputes with Kyle, jews. The protagonists of the show constantly call him out for being a horrible racist, berating him and seeking revenge at every possible opportunity. THAT MEANS HE’S THE BAD GUY. Don’t listen to the bad guy. When you watched Thundercats as a kid, you didn’t want to be Mumra. Apply that logic here.

He’s a glutton.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a little overweight, but Cartman is an unrelenting eater who displays unhealthy characteristics time and time again. He can’t stop eating and he can’t keep up with the other kids physically. These are bad habits that should be avoided (though, honestly, you wouldn’t know it seeing school kids these days). (more…)

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Happy (or not so Happy) Friday the 13th!

11/13/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Hot Topics

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In celebration of quirky occult holidays (like today), we thought it would be interesting to get down to the bottom of what makes Friday the 13th significant. To be honest, we always thought it was just a great movie premise.

Friday the 13th is a day of superstition in countries worldwide, and the actual Greek terminology for a fear of the day is paraskavedekatriaphobia. It’s a bit of a mouthful, but it breaks down to Paraskeví (Παρασκευή) (meaning Friday), anddekatreís (δεκατρείς) (meaning thirteen), attached to phobía (φοβία) (meaning fear). Strange…we always expected there to be a bigger reason for people being afraid of this particular day, like a pagan sacrificial ritual or a Babylonian massacre or something cool like that.  But unfortunately, it turns out there’s really not much to it as far as history is concerned. There are some notable births (Margaret Thatcher) and some notable deaths (Tupac Shakur), but that’s really about it. (more…)

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