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Posts Tagged ‘Offbeat’

Policeman Decks Grandma

11/24/08 - Posted by gfigg under US

I don’t care how much of a firecracker she was- no 70-year-old woman should get knocked out by a cop.

No Love for Yang Yang

11/24/08 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under International Affairs

Everyone needs a good cuddle now and then– everyone that is, except Yang Yang the Panda.

A college student in Southern China, who just wanted to “spread the love,” hopped a 6.5 foot fence at Qixing Park Zoo and attempted to embrace Yang Yang. Apparently, Yang Yang wasn’t feelin’ it, because he attacked the 20-year-old by biting him all over the arms and legs.

Zoo employees have reported that the panda has been behaving quiet normally, showing no psychological effects from the love-tackle. The man underwent surgery Friday evening and will remain in the hospital for several days, but otherwise will recover. While in the hospital, the student was able to release a statement; “Yang Yang was so cute, and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn’t expect he would attack.”

No one ever does my friend, no one ever does.

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  • The Heirs To Uga VII’s Throne

    11/20/09

    The Story: With the passing of Georgia’s beloved bulldog icon, a new master-mascot must be chosen.  Who will it be?
    The Search: Uga VII
    Some of us are born into greatness and some have it unexpectedly thrust upon us and never learn to deal with it, leading us to end up in rehab.  You can count the [...]

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  • Johnny Depp Brings the Sex

    11/18/09

    The Story: Johnny Depp was named the sexiest man alive according to People magazine.  But is he man enough for this title?
    The Search: Sexy Johnny Depp
    I’m a man, and I find men disgusting. I look at other men, and the last adjective that comes to mind is ’sexy’. However, I can’t deny that among the [...]

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  • Appropriate Publicity Techniques

    11/12/09

    The Story: Carrie Prejean became extremely flustered while on-air with Larry King.  OneRiot breaks down her interviewing tactics, and helps her further her public speaking skills.

    The Search: Larry King & Carrie Prejean
    With all the pseudo-celebrities emerging over the past decade or so, we at OneRiot have grown increasingly concerned that people are getting famous for [...]

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  • The Galactic Search for Love

    11/11/09

    The Story: Diaper-wearing Astronaut Lisa Nowak was sentenced today for her cross-country crime.  OneRiot casts the movie featuring the out of this world love triangle.
    The Search: Lisa Nowak Sentence
    Astronaut love is not like regular person love. Maybe that’s why the 2004 story of Lisa Nowak and the space-love triangle that caused her to drive 1000 [...]

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  • Renaming Mel Gibson’s Octo-Spawn

    11/03/09

    The Summary: Mel Gibson becomes a father of eight children - and OneRiot renames them all.
    The Search: Mel Gibson’s Baby
    Everyone loves when celebrities have babies, because the names they grace them with offer solid proof that they operate on a whole different plane of existence. However, the latest celebrity couple to a offer a up [...]

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