Not since Ellen Page and Michael Cera in Juno has there been a teen pregnancy super-duo the likes of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston. This past election season, it seemed like the latter would’ve rather been anywhere other than the national spotlight after knocking up the family values-laden Alaska governor’s oldest, bizarrely named daughter. However, Just when Bristol’s Baby Daddy thought it was safe to pick up a newspaper (presuming that he reads all that people put in front of him) his mom had to go off and get nabbed by narcs.
Sherry Johnston, soon-to-be grandmother of baby “Cotangent” Palin-Johnston, was arrested and charged with not one, not two, but six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance at her home in the inspirational town of Wasilla. It turns out she’s been dabbling in a bit of Oxycontin, a.k.a. Hillbilly Heroin, and will face charges including possession and second-degree misconduct (whatever that means).
Despite spending a brief period behind bars, Ms. Johnston was released on bail, presumably to prevent the travesty of having the current Alaska Governor take an active role in naming her grandchild who was slated to be birthed this weekend. The new grandma is slated to be arraigned January 6th, time enough to enjoy a drug addled New Year’s eve.
Buddy Up