In a last-minute attempt to inject a dose of religious values into the throbbing vein of America’s healthcare system before its inevitable revamping, the Bush administration has proposed a rule that would protect healthcare workers who refuse to aid in sterilization and abortion procedures because of their religious values. Additionally, it would prevent healthcare institutions from requiring the faithful to do anything that God would frown upon, including termination of pregnancy, jeopardizing the survival of the unborn, and coveting thy neighbor’s wife.

Representatives from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission oppose the rule, claiming that the protection of employees religious beliefs are covered in Title VII of the Civil Rights act of 1964 and that no additional provisions are required, unless of course the goal is not the protection of employee rights but rather to further the influence of dominant monotheistic belief on the everyday lives of Americans who like to make personal decisions for themselves.

President-elect Obama has said that the proposed rule would be an obstacle to women attempting to receive reproductive health services. This sentiment was echoed by the National Association of Chain Drug Stores, who believe the rule may lead to patients being refused contraceptive products by religious employees who think everyone should do it the old fashioned way. A representative of the association noted that buying condoms at a pharmacy is awkward enough without the theological debate that would almost certainly ensue.