After the Dow Jones’ lackluster revival of The Comeback Kid last week, the market suffered its fourth-worst-ever slide on Monday, dropping another 680 points and closing somewhere between disappointing and deplorable. Oh, you didn’t hear? We’re definitely in a recession now. Market analysts assessed the skid, noting that while it might normally take over a year for the total DJIA to increase by 1,000-plus points, it took only five days for it to do so at the end of November.
While Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson suggested the Bush administration would look for more ways to activate that pesky little $700 billion bailout thing from a few weeks ago, more than a few disheveled Wall Street professionals were overheard trying to get on the horn with Gordon Gekko—and, when that failed, Bud Fox—for some sage advice. Neither of the aforementioned financial experts was available for comment, but over here, we’re still convinced that the key to resolving this issue is in remembering that Blue Horseshoe loves Endicott Steel.
Buddy Up