Science | Blog.OneRiot.com - Blogging the Pulse of the Web

How to Have Fun….IN SPACE

11/18/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Because We Feel Like it, Science

The Story: Spending all that time in space has got to get a little boring for the crew of Atlantis, so OneRiot has provided them a list of fun things they can do while up there. Hope they get WiFi.

The Search: Atlantis

Spending time in space may sound great in theory. You get to see the rest of the universe from a perspective witnessed by only a handful of human eyes. However, while you may get to go for a couple of spacewalks and repair a few things, in the end it usually boils down to being stuck in the same spot with the same views for days on end with very few options for entertainment. With Atlantis docking today at the International Space Station, a motley crew of six astronaut dudes will be joining a lone female for eleven days spanning over the Thanksgiving holiday to perform experiments and other boring science stuff. While we’re not sure how much free time they’ll have, we’ve got a list of suggestions of fun things to do when you’re outside of Earth’s atmosphere that are made that much cooler by the knowledge that any activity sounds better with the word “space” in front of it.

Space Invaders- We don’t mean play the video game. Simply see how much you can invade the personal space of your fellow astronauts until it makes them angry. Helluva way to pass the time.

SpaceBall- It’s like baseball but with zero gravity and lots of fancy dials to damage that might result in you never returning home again. (more…)

Tags: Atlantis, Science, Space

Earth Avoids Deep Impact Sequel

11/12/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science

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The Story: An Asteroid narrowly missed crashing into earth. OneRiot gives you a survival guide to avoid becoming space-toast in future impact situations.

The Search: Asteroid Misses Earth

While the likes of Kelly Osbourne and Aaron Carter might suggest that the concept of stars moving gracefully is a fairly new concept, the Earth’s existence in a veritable minefield of asteroids and comets is proof positive that Dancing With The Stars has been a vital element to our planetary survival for billions of years. Every so often one of those soaring celestial bodies threatens to bring our civilization to a crashing halt with little to no warning. Such was (almost) the case on November 6th when the Catalina Sky Survey noticed that an 23-foot wide asteroid known as 2009 VA missed the blue marble by a mere 8,700 miles. Although we weren’t quite prepared for impact this time, we have a few suggestions in the case a similar E.L.E. (extinction level event) were to threaten your well-being in our OneRiot Guide to Asteroid Survival.

1. Be Smart- If you are in school and get good grades, the government will most likely pick you to join their earth re-population colony. You will be notified only a few days prior to impact, so study hard because you never know when the big one is about to hit. (more…)

Tags: Science, Space, Survival

Astronauts Quench Thirst with Pee-cycled Water

5/22/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

Space… the final frontier. That means no conveniently located rest areas.

Science fiction writers have always pushed the bounds of our imagination by showing us worlds in which androids walk among us, highways become skyways, and some of the androids walking among us are hooker-bots. While many of these fancifully conceived technologies may be a ways off, one crucial bit of space age technology is now a reality: the purification of our precious bodily fluids.

While our urine is already a refreshing beverage, as former Indian Prime Minister Morarji Desai can tell you, the merit of its imbibement for actual nutrition and hydration has remained subjective. Nothing does the body better than good old H2O, and astronauts’ bodies are no exception, even with their years of scientific experience. However, after acknowledging that transporting water to ongoing space missions was becoming a hassle, NASA was hard-up for a solution. All their scientists needed to do was take their attention off the stars and onto their pee. After only months of traumatic taste testing, science prevailed, and the purification system was born.

Never again will space workers go thirsty, “And the taste is great!” says astronaut Michael Barratt. In a recent poll since the technology’s development, space station residents were shown to prefer their own urine to the previous favorite, Tang in a space pouch.

Tags: NASA, Science, Space

Lucky Stars: Hawking Recovering

4/21/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science, US

Human super computer and personal advisor to the stars Stephen Hawking has not gone the way of Isaac Asimov and Carl Sagan just yet. Despite reports that the genius physicist was “very ill” yesterday, he is now purported to be on the road to recovery.

Hawking was admitted to Addenbrooke hospital Monday after digitally complaining of a chest infection. The news of his impending well-being allowed the physics world to breathe a huge sigh of relieve as it will allow Hawking to continue work on his “unified theory,” which attempts to solve contradictions between Albert Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity and the Theory of Quantum Mechanics. VH1 execs also breathed a sigh of relief as they can now continue planning their Hawking-based reality show, Quark of Love.

Tags: Science, Stephen Hawking

Scientists Regretably Retract Our Excuse for Kissing Ugly People

4/21/09 - Posted by Mara Siegler under Health

For those of you ladies trolling the bars at last call looking for someone to hook up with, the drunkest guy (i.e. the one half passed put, falling over, picking fights, or vomiting) is not your best chance for success.

Science just thought you should know. Researchers, who have presumably given up curing cancer or studying “important,” things, asked a group of 240 wasted ladies and gentleman to look at photos of women and comment on their age and attractiveness. While women struggled with the age question, men stayed on top of their game and weren’t thrown off by such sneaky tactics as make-up. They also tended to find women less attractive.

While this is bad news for hard-up women who can’t get laid, it’s even worse news for men. Beauty is NOT in the eye of the beerholder. You now have no excuse for the women you bring home aside from poor taste, no standards, and total ambivalence in the case of minors and cougars. As medically stated by Dr Vincent Egan, from the University of Leicester, there is no such thing as “beer goggles.”

Tags: Beer Goggles, Science

On the Keeping of Magical Creatures

3/02/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Science, US

Staff members at the OneRiot offices were shocked enough to learn that there are actually dolphins in some lakes, so when we discovered that—get this—a pink dolphin has been swimming around in one of them, things kind of got crazy.

While skeptics may suggest that our sources for this story included ‘The Dark Crystal’ on Blu-Ray and a suspicious baggy, the mystical creature truly exists. Charter boat captain Erik Rue caught a glimpse of the by-all-accounts mythological beast in Louisiana’s Lake Calcasieu and snapped its photo like a seasoned pap, creating a worldwide stir that has some conservationists really effing freaked out. After all, this is no common occurrence: some claim that the albino dolphin, reported to be “absolutely stunningly pink,” is the only one of its kind in the world.

This amazing aquatic enigma is fast becoming a thing of lore with Calcasieu locals, yet the most intriguing part of the tale is that it has yet to be given a name. So, in the spirit of OneRiot’s incredible social community (and penchant for shameless self-promotion), we want to read what you have to say: name the pink bottlenose in the comments and cement your place in history…or at least for the next couple days.

Tags: Magical Creatures, Science

VICTORY: Teenager Repellant!

2/27/09 - Posted by Mara Siegler under Science

You know those dog whistles that can only be heard by our four legged friends? Well there is also a pitch that only teens and those under 25 can hear, but this case the mosquito-like sound acts as a repellent to keep youth away. Check it out - can you hear it?

Right now it’s mostly used in shopping malls and stores to stem delinquent chilling, but could be put to good use in keeping unwanted priers out of your dorm room, booze burglars out of your alcohol cabinet, or for determining whether or not that new person you’re dating really is as young as they say.

Tags: Science

There Goes The Ozone (and $280 Mil)

2/24/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

A satellite designed to monitor the earth’s atmosphere for effects of man-caused global warming crashed into the ocean shortly after its scheduled launch early this morning. The nose cone, which is used to protect the satellite during blastoff, failed to dislodge itself. This put a weight strain on the satellite, and the entire package smashed into the sea near Antarctica, leaving no hope for salvaging its remains. The mission had been in planning for nine years and cost upwards of $280 million, prompting scientist Scott Denning to exclaim “Wow! Bad news this morning.”

Yes Scott. Bad news indeed. Not only was an incredible amount of work and equipment lost, but this mission’s failure has delayed the launch of another satellite planned for this year which will monitor the emission of greenhouse gases on earth. The advent of being without the data that these satellites are meant to gather leaves us in a state of not knowing how fast we are destroying our planet, and until we know that, how can we stop being destructive? We know exactly what is damaging our atmosphere, you say? Use public transportation, you say? My dear, non-scientist friend…let’s not lose our hats before all the data is in.

Tags: Science, Space

Sorry Sponge, You Suck

1/29/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

While many in the scientific community were close to certain that simple lifeforms like sponges were the first living creatures on earth, several studies have uncovered evidence that the original sinners were more likely the Placozoans, tiny multi-cellular organisms about a millimeter long that are known for their lack of complex biological systems, quick wit, and warm hospitality.

A Placozoan sort of looks like… a sponge.

A study conducted by scientist Rob DeSalle confirmed conjecture that animal evolution is not a single sequence of occurrences, but in fact a multipronged progression. The discovery that the precursors of a nervous system in Placozoans and other lower lifeforms (invertebrates such as jellyfish) differ in their development from those found in higher ones shows that such systems may have evolved many times over in various groups of animals. According to DeSalle, systems and organs including the eye, the stomach, and the spine have evolved many times over in varying forms.

Tags: Evolution, Science

Duke’s Former Dungeon Masters Invent Invisibility Cloak

1/16/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science

The science community is zeroing in on an achievement previously only thought attainable by the most dedicated of Dungeon Masters. No, the creators of Axe Body spray haven’t added Level 5 charm spells to the list of their product’s active ingredients, but scientists at Duke University have been tinkering with the creation of an invisibility cloak - and they may be on the right track.

Formerly a pipe dream for lonely adolescent minds, the new technology has been brought to the brink of existence thanks to the invention of “metamaterials” that work to deflect microwaves around a 3-D object. This complex system turns the object of desired invisibility into more or less a mirage, as heat works to bend light rays thereby cloaking both behind and in front of an image. While the brand new discovery will most likely be an tool rife for military exploitation, one scientist is creatively considering using it to check out his friend’s totally hot sister in the shower…you know, just so he can test it out.

Tags: Duke, Invisibility Cloak, Science

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