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Posts Tagged ‘Space’

Earth Avoids Deep Impact Sequel

11/12/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science

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The Story: An Asteroid narrowly missed crashing into earth.  OneRiot gives you a survival guide to avoid becoming space-toast in future impact situations.

The Search: Asteroid Misses Earth

While the likes of Kelly Osbourne and Aaron Carter might suggest that the concept of stars moving gracefully is a fairly new concept, the Earth’s existence in a veritable minefield of asteroids and comets is proof positive that Dancing With The Stars has been a vital element to our planetary survival for billions of years.  Every so often one of those soaring celestial bodies threatens to bring our civilization to a crashing halt with little to no warning.  Such was (almost) the case on November 6th when the Catalina Sky Survey noticed that an 23-foot wide asteroid known as 2009 VA missed the blue marble by a mere 8,700 miles.  Although we weren’t quite prepared for impact this time, we have a few suggestions in the case a similar E.L.E. (extinction level event) were to threaten your well-being in our OneRiot Guide to Asteroid Survival.

1. Be Smart-
If you are in school and get good grades, the government will most likely pick you to join their earth re-population colony.  You will be notified only a few days prior to impact, so study hard because you never know when the big one is about to hit. (more…)

Astronauts Quench Thirst with Pee-cycled Water

5/22/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

Space… the final frontier. That means no conveniently located rest areas.

Science fiction writers have always pushed the bounds of our imagination by showing us worlds in which androids walk among us, highways become skyways, and some of the androids walking among us are hooker-bots. While many of these fancifully conceived technologies may be a ways off, one crucial bit of space age technology is now a reality: the purification of our precious bodily fluids.

While our urine is already a refreshing beverage, as former Indian Prime Minister Morarji Desai can tell you, the merit of its imbibement for actual nutrition and hydration has remained subjective. Nothing does the body better than good old H2O, and astronauts’ bodies are no exception, even with their years of scientific experience. However, after acknowledging that transporting water to ongoing space missions was becoming a hassle, NASA was hard-up for a solution. All their scientists needed to do was take their attention off the stars and onto their pee. After only months of traumatic taste testing, science prevailed, and the purification system was born.

Never again will space workers go thirsty, “And the taste is great!” says astronaut Michael Barratt. In a recent poll since the technology’s development, space station residents were shown to prefer their own urine to the previous favorite, Tang in a space pouch.

The Truth IS Out There

2/25/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science

For decades government agencies have been quelling our fear of alien invasion, insisting that those unidentified flying objects appearing and disappearing from the night sky are nothing but weather balloons. However, the detractors of extra-terrestrial phenomena have found yet another tune to sing, while still saying nay to the possibility that ALF could be out there.

The latest explanation for interstellar intruders comes via researchers who claim that those UFO’s sightings are caused by Sprites, an abnormality of shimmying light caused when lightning from a thunderstorm excites the above electric field. The result of said occurrence tends to show up as “fast-paced balls of electricity” and maybe even “streaks or tendrils.” With the possibility of all Alien life finally quashed, we guess the U.S. Government will have no problem revealing the contents of Area 51. Though to be honest, we’re not sure this isn’t just another cover up. After all, the one thing scientists still haven’t explained is all of those anal probes.

There Goes The Ozone (and $280 Mil)

2/24/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Science

A satellite designed to monitor the earth’s atmosphere for effects of man-caused global warming crashed into the ocean shortly after its scheduled launch early this morning. The nose cone, which is used to protect the satellite during blastoff, failed to dislodge itself. This put a weight strain on the satellite, and the entire package smashed into the sea near Antarctica, leaving no hope for salvaging its remains. The mission had been in planning for nine years and cost upwards of $280 million, prompting scientist Scott Denning to exclaim “Wow! Bad news this morning.”

Yes Scott. Bad news indeed. Not only was an incredible amount of work and equipment lost, but this mission’s failure has delayed the launch of another satellite planned for this year which will monitor the emission of greenhouse gases on earth. The advent of being without the data that these satellites are meant to gather leaves us in a state of not knowing how fast we are destroying our planet, and until we know that, how can we stop being destructive? We know exactly what is damaging our atmosphere, you say? Use public transportation, you say? My dear, non-scientist friend…let’s not lose our hats before all the data is in.

ASTROCLASH!: US & Russian Satellites Collide

2/12/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Science, US

Sarah Palin may insist she can see Russia from her home, but some “parts” of both countries have done more than just lock eyes - they’ve touched.

A duo of satellites from the two global superpowers enjoyed an extremely unusual astro-brush up 500 miles above Siberia on Tuesday, when a seemingly out of control, inoperative Russian satellite careened into a working craft owned by the U.S. communications company, Iridium. While Iridium expects to have their replacement up and running within the next 30 days, the debris from the biggest unintentional international space summit to date is thought to pose a low-level of risk to both the International Space Station and a shuttle launch scheduled for later this month. The earth’s orbit has been littered with over 17,000 pieces of man-made space junk since the launch of Sputnik in 1957, which currently serve as the biggest threat to shuttles in flight. Sigh: Somewhere out there is a crying Alien beaming up trash and pleading to keep the universe clean.

Major Twitter to Ground Control

12/08/08 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Industry, Science

Until recently, NASA did an excellent job keeping the terms “outer space” and “relatable” on separate planets. That all changed in May, when the rocket scientists at NASA finally decided to add some personality to a mission by creating a twitter profile for their historic Phoenix Lander.

40,000 followers of the planetary probe have been receiving updates since the lander’s touch down on Mars’ surface, when a tweet was sent reading, “I dig Mars.” The micro blogging site has helped NASA establish a rapport with the public like never before. Unfortunately, the Lander has been dormant on the red planet since November 11th, but if it should come back to life anytime soon, Twitter users could be amongst the first to know. However, they’d probably be better off without constant status updates on each grain of sand analyzed and the Phoenix’s narcissistic tendency to let followers know what it eats for lunch everyday- but that’s twitter for ya.

Space Age FAIL

11/19/08 - Posted by Matt Gierhart under Science, US

You remember that weekend when you were a kid and your dad wanted you to ‘help’ him build something in the garage…. but then you spent the whole time looking around while your dad swore under his breath because he had lost his tools? Well the same thing happens in space, except space tools cost a lot more.

So the story is; astronaut Heide Stefanyshyn-Piper decided to do a little work on the international space station–but it wasn’t exactly productive. First her space grease gun leaked all over her bag. Then, while trying to clean the rest of her space tools the bag slipped and floated away. Le whoops.

I don’t claim any degrees or experience in space engineering, but my uncle is a retired space engineer and that should count for something. So here is my plan: Let’s put all the space tools on little wires that allow the tools to float around when not needed and pulled in close when they are needed. Its just an idea.

I’ve included a picture to better illustrate my idea. You’re welcome NASA, we’re just trying to help.

India Smashes into the Moon

11/17/08 - Posted by Matt Gierhart under Science

Technically speaking, India has put their flag on the moon, joining a very elite club of countries who have claimed pieces of outer space. Why is it, then, that when we talk about this “landing,” we’re so compelled to use air quotes?

When the U.S. landed on the moon forty years ago we delivered a classic line and got a great picture. Aside from being the first, we did it with style. To contrast, the India space program sent an unmanned probe to crash into the moon at 3,100 miles per hour.

The probe was painted with India’s flag. So yes, India’s flag is on the moon, though it is more than likely scattered into pieces across the moon’s South poll. This places India’s space probe landing close to the equivalent of shooting the moon with a rifle—just that the bullet cost millions and can collect scientific data.

Regardless of the crappy landing, congratulations to India for being the sixth country to put your flag on the moon (conspiracy theorists, start your engines).

New Planets, FTW!

11/13/08 - Posted by Carmel Hagen under Science

Four planets, totally uninhabitable and largely indistinguishable, have been photographed by two teams of astronomers.

That white spec in the lower right portion of this pic (sorta tough to make out, but NASA wouldn’t lie to us) is one of the new babies. His name is Fomalhaut b, and he’s gaseous.

…and on a slightly unrelated note, how f*cking terrifying is this picture. Hello, Satan’s eyeball, nice to see you’re watching over us from trillions of miles away. Yeesh.

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