Republican Senators have combined their efforts to produce their very own reformed version of the next stimulus package. Casually referred to on Capitol Hill as Stimulus Package II: The Saga Continues, economy booster is expected to outperform its initial incarnation in the areas of effectiveness and national perception. The conservative edit contains narrower spending on various program and relies largely on tax cuts to increase consumer confidence and counteract the current slump. Big names on the cover include Sen. Mel Martinez, Sen. Mitch McConnell, Sen. Marlene Marzipan, and a senator from South Carolina known only as Mango.
House Republicans have decided to throw down their own ideas in the form of an edit of the edited version of the original proposal. Citing the abundance of pork in the edit of the edit, leading Republican representatives have edited down their own edit and sent it back to the republican senators for a revision. After deliberation and several more edits, a compromise was reached in the form of budget breakdown consisting of only two items; twenty dollar stimulus checks for all citizens and a provision to fund new catering for the senate house lounge. Senators drafting this final edit maintain that while most of the pork was removed, it is possible that some will still slip by in there, as is the nature of the game.
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