New York Football Giants star Plaxico Burress acidentally shot himself in the leg Saturday while fumbling for a handgun which broke away from his waistline, ran a fly route down right pant-leg, and was stopped just shy of the knee line.
Burress, who was accompanied on his night out by teammate Antonio Pierce, tried to get into Manhattan’s LQ nightclub but was having a hard time persuading the bouncer to make an exception to the club’s “No Concealed Weapons” policy. Plaxico was adorned in jewels suitable for any Superbowl winning touchdown reciever, and claimed he needed the firearm to protect himself inside the club, which featured a LatAsian (Latin + Asian) theme, a relaxing lounge area, and iPod mixing sensation ‘Bongo’ Benito Sandoval. He was finally allowed in, an accomplishment he celebrated with several drinks. Later, as he was being led into a VIP area, he fumbled the weapon, accidentally discharging it and sending a bullet through his right thigh, which already suffered from a hamstring injury acquired this season. Pierce rushed to his aid, sources say, and informed the injured Burress that bringing the gun out was a bad idea, a piece of advice coming just slightly too late.
As any responsible pair of championship-winning professional athletes would, the mischievous pair decided not to call emergency personnel, and instead broke to Plaxico’s Totowa, NJ Mansion to regroup over more mixed drinks and pizza bagels prepared by the Mrs. Burress. Plaxico is facing up to 3.5 years in prison, but will no doubt be well-liked in any New York state prison for shooting that prick Plaxico Burress in the leg.
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