Forget about purebred pups with pedigrees–This weekend’s top dogshow was all about honoring those canines with mugs that only an owner can love. With gnarly coats, stumpy tails, missing eyes, and scraggly teeth, dogs came from all over the globe to win the coveted title of the World’s Ugliest Dog.
The world was left with an emotional stain even Oxy-clean couldn’t remove Sunday as announcements hit the trending topics confirming that legendary pitch man Billy Mays had died in his Florida home. The infomercial vanguard was best known for his work hawking cleaning supplies on late-night TV, and had recently completed some hilariously self-deprecating work for ESPN.
11-Year Old Harvey Kindlon was so close! He managed to get within feet of uber-beauty of the moment Megan Fox at the London premiere of Transformers 2, when his well-documented quest to give her a yellow rose was stymied by the flashbulbs of photo hounds from the UK’s trashiest rags. It seemed all was well that ended well though, as the aptly-named Ms. Fox had seen a photo of the boy pathetically longing in the not-so-distance and issued an apology, noting that ignoring such a doting fan was very unlike her.
Zelaya experienced every president’s worst nightmare: the army showing up at your door at night and dragging you to Costa Rica in your pajamas.
Once you look past the civil unrest, bloody public violence, and scathing injustice, a coup is kind of a funny thing. Honduran president Manuel Zelaya fell in line with his socialist homey Hugo Chavez in an impoverished nation with a tiny but wealthy elite and a majority in a festering soup of poverty. Logical assumptions would lead one to believe that the regressive and conservative action of removing such a leader for army rule would be an unpopular action forced by the military. Judging by the condemnation of Latin America and the world at large, it comes as a bit of a surprise that only 30% of Hondurans actually support Zelaya.
In today’s world of political revolutions, teen sexting, and dying pop icons, one might just be distracted enough to let the real danger seep in. We keep forgetting about natural disasters, and they keep hating us. Mother Nature’s step brother, the sinkhole, is a real bastard, and he’s attacking the innocent. It took geologist Eli Raz 14 hours in the clutches of a sinkhole, followed by five years of procrastination, to come to the conclusion that someone’s got to do something.
By attempting to map the sinkholes around the Dead Sea, Raz hopes to minimize the risk of individuals who flock to the body of water annually for its sandy beaches and pristine blue shallows. While no quick solution exists, he believes that knowing where they are will seriously curb the number of people trapped by sinkholes every year. Since his accident five years ago, Raz remains the only victim.
Another hindrance posed by the sinkholes is that to Israeli development firms, who have been forced to halt the contruction of a hotel and a naval base in the area. Unfortunately for Palestine, development encroaching on the West Bank is looking more and more favorable for an Israel faced with sinkholes.
Less than an hour ago, reports started rushing in that Michael Jackson had suffered cardiac arrest. Only a couple minutes later, followup reports were suggesting he had died on his way to the hospital. It appears that the preeminent King of Pop’s era is over.
Michael Jackson had 14 number one hits in his career, which began before the singer was 10 years old. He is survived by three children. Clearly his later years found him a confused and unstable individual; but the loss of one of music’s most respected and influential performers is a sad one regardless. Hopefully, the legacy he leaves will be deeper rooted in his many contributions to popular culture, and not his personal life.
About a week ago, we learned a that the ratio of starving earthicans to fed ones had reached an appalling 1 in 6. While we have always had issues with keeping everyone fed, this new figure reveals the foreboding reality of a global population with plenty of food but no way to distribute it equitably. Citizens of most classes of first world countries see food wasted everyday at home and at restaurants and feel terrible about it, but would lose their golf sweaters over actually doing something about it. Even if they wanted to, what could be done? You want me to mail the rest of this sandwich to Somalia?
In the before time people used to find out all of their vital information via phone calls, subpoenas, or beautifully written and subsequently narrated letters from their significant other in Charleston, South Carolina during times of Civil War. Today, however, we have Twitter, which much like text messaging asserts the pressure to get one’s point across in a finite amount of characters. Yesterday brought such an occasion, when NBA Superstar and certifiable Twitterlebrity @THE_REAL_SHAQ got traded to @cavs.
ESPN had like a 8 min piece on it said its a DONE DEAL you a Cavalier but aint beliving it till the BIG @THE_REAL_SHAQ SINGS.
It seems @THE_REAL_SHAQ was not aware of said transaction until @allonso notified the aging big man, telling him “ESPN had like a 8 min piece on it said its a DONE DEAL you a Cavalier but aint beliving it till the BIG @THE_REAL_SHAQ SINGS.” Shaq responded by tweeting @allonso, “I didn’t hear dat yet.” But indeed the Big Cactus would have to be changing his tune and his nickname as he would find out moments later. Perhaps getting the biggest kick out the whole situation was @DJJTR3Y who twote at the diesel “U CLEVELAND BOUND…shaq found out he was traded thru twitter! lmao….hahahaaaaaa.” Shaq confirmed @DJJTR3Y’s Twitspicions with an “I kno right” over the micro-blogging service. It was quite the to do and now we all feel dumber for having followed it. Oh well, so much for the delicate beauty of the English language.
Once you(‘re) pop(ped for soliciting prostitution), you can’t stop: not just a tagline, but a way of life. Lahoma Sue Smith of Oklahoma City was busted last week for dropping trow and giving it up for a container of—get this—potato chips. OneRiot has recovered an exclusive*, official transcript of the actual encounter between Smith and the unidentified Frito-Lay employee:
Lahoma Sue Smith: Hey big boy, whatchu got in that there crate, hmm?
Frito-Lay Employee: Oh, hello ma’am. Just got some chips in here.
LSS: Is that so, Mister Man? What kinna chips you got?
FLE: It’s assorted, ma’am.
LSS: You wanna trade?
FLE: I’m not really supposed to, ma’am. I’m just supposed to deliver these chips to that store over there.
LSS: How’s about you deliver something else, to my store?
FLE: I’m not even sure what that’s supposed to mean.
LSS: Oh I think you do. Just bring your cute brown uniform-wearin’ booty over here. That’s it, sit down right there on that pile of tires.
FLE: If I get fired for this, I’m not sure it’ll be worth it. Just take the chips and let’s do it. At least I can say I was robbed.
Dada July 3, 2009 9:25 pm I’m very interested in this kind of themed-movies. I absolutely love Tim... 
David July 3, 2009 4:17 pm children are the most important things in our lives, we have to sacrifice everything for... 
Jennifer Hodges July 1, 2009 4:40 pm Jayson- what exactly is “adventure music”??? 
Harrry July 1, 2009 1:11 pm IF YOUR HOMETOWN BECAME THE TARGET FOR AN APPROACHING NUCLEAR MISSILE,You would most... 
Evan Kessler June 30, 2009 8:37 am My little nod to Prince. 
Hollywood moves fast. Real fast. And if you’ve had even a pinch of fame during your lifespan, chances are a motion picture production company will be in the works to produce your biopic before you’ve even been buried. So goes the tale of Billy Mays, the pitchman most recognized for his husky/on the verge of [...]
Pop musicians got a shock this week when a man who changed the face of their field not only prematurely kicked the bucket, but gave them one final schooling from beyond the grave. Michael Jackson’s music is tearing up the charts and, with much poetic justice, bumping out contemporary pop stars like the Black Eyed [...]
In the days following the death of Michael Jackson, internet hoaxsters have tried their hand at convincing us that famous people are dropping like flies. First there were the Jeff Goldblum rumors, then they told us our beloved Harrison Ford and Britney Spears had gone the way of the dodo.
Being the astute followers of pop [...]
Forget about purebred pups with pedigrees–This weekend’s top dogshow was all about honoring those canines with mugs that only an owner can love. With gnarly coats, stumpy tails, missing eyes, and scraggly teeth, dogs came from all over the globe to win the coveted title of the World’s Ugliest Dog.
11-Year Old Harvey Kindlon was so close! He managed to get within feet of uber-beauty of the moment Megan Fox at the London premiere of Transformers 2, when his well-documented quest to give her a yellow rose was stymied by the flashbulbs of photo hounds from the UK’s trashiest rags. It seemed all was well [...]
Do a search for “The Whuffie Factor reviews” on a traditional search engine, and something interesting happens. In the area that SEO experts lust for – those glorified first five results - a blog post pops up. It’s a modest post, just a few flattering paragraphs covering Tara Hunt’s guide to social media for businesspeople, [...]
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