10/30/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Because We Feel Like it
Muahaha, Spooky greetings OneRioters! Here we are on the cusp of yet another Haunted All Hallow’s Eve ready to gorge ourselves on Candy corns (yechh!) and Fun-sized Nestle Crunch (yum!). Are you with us? Well, before you secure enough sweets to last you the next financial quarter, you’re going to have to stop stomping around the neighborhood in your everyday gear, because no one wants to give M&Ms to a banker or a dad casually dressed in Eddie Bauer gear, unless you can convince them that your costume is “1995 Man.” So if you’ve waited til the last minute and have yet to secure a quality costume for Saturday’s big costume party or trick or treat trek, we here at OneRiot have a few suggestions to help you stand out amongst a sea of balloon boys and Jon and Kate Plus Eight impersonators. So without further ado, the OneRiot last minute Halloween costume guide for those who have yet to decide:
Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger- Dust off that old sport coat and procure a pair of pilot wings, a nifty hat and a sweet white stache. Carry with you a tupperware labeled “Hudson River” filled with water and a mini toy plane. Throughout the party keep landing your toy plane safely in the tupperware. Everyone at the party will consider you a hero. If you don’t want to carry around the tupperware you can just keep dropping your plane in other people’s drinks…but we suspect that could be annoying.
- Halloween 2008 - Last year Sarah Palin costumes were all the rage. You probably even dressed as the former Alaska governor. You’re so creative. So why not pull that power suit out with the American flag lapel pin out of the closet, make your hair look all sexy librarian-ish and slap on that pair of New Year’s 2008 glasses you’ve held onto hoping to somehow get another use out of. For good measure grab yourself a piggy bank and slap some lipstick on that thing and maybe glue some old candy wrappers to your person. Voila! Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Costumes, Halloween
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10/30/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Because We Feel Like it
The funeral business in America has been a racket ever since an undertaker figured out that folks in grief are easy marks. This legacy of opportunism has been passed down for generations, which is why you see funeral homes touting on their awnings just how long they’ve been disposing of the lifeless. Well, mom and pop are getting another royal screw job from Wal-Mart, as the megastore has just rolled out a line of caskets for today’s approaching-death patron on the go. While most of the small businesses Wal-Mart drives into the ground are honest people trying to make a living, this just might be one scheme that has great value for the customer. In fact, why not plan your entire funeral through Wal-Mart!?
The Suit - You want to look good when you go down. And I mean you, specifically. I’m into the cremation thing, personally. But you. You need to look stylin’ when you’re descending into the earth. Now, Wal-Mart doesn’t have much by way of suits, but these handsome Dickies Big Men’s Bib Overalls are equally classy, and far more rugged. For an extra bad ass look, have someone leave one of the shoulder straps undone for a looks that says “Yeah I’m dead, but this carburetor isn’t going to fix itself”. $30.50
- The Preservative - Do you know how much a bottle of formaldehyde costs? If you’re planning a funeral, you know the answer is ‘way out of your budget’. Instead, locate a Wal-Mart equipped with a supermarket and buy a dozen jars of pickles at a bargain price. After all, pickle brine is nature’s human flesh preservative. $28.44 Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Death, Walmart
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10/29/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Sports
It’s fall in Philadelphia, and this year, it’s special. The Phillies get a chance to beat New York at their own game (baseball, invented in Cooperstown, NY in 1839). Last year’s World Series victory saw an uproarious city with a reason to celebrate violently, and that they did. As a city not used to such occasions, there were some disastrous outcomes, mainly for Robinson’s Luggage at Broad and Walnut, the only store in downtown Philly to be looted that night (people just wanted quality suitcases…for free). A day before this year’s NL championship game, the city had workers grease up all the poles along South Broad St. This cartoonish precaution was taken as an honest attempt to protect Philadelphians from themselves. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Baseball, Phillies, Sports, Yankees
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10/29/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Industry
This morning the social web was abuzz with the phrase “This Will Be Huge.” Those four words are applicable to so many situations that what it may have been referring to was a mystery to us. Perhaps, everyone on the Interweb was partaking in a worldwide pizza making contest and had used entirely too much dough prompting them to announce “This will be huge,” or maybe they were celebrating National Viagra Day. Either way, further investigation was warranted. What we came upon was neither food nor Erectile Dysfunction related.
It seems that Internet industry monster Google has released a new beta application called “Google Maps Navigation.” The free GPS turn-by-turn navigation system has made such an immediate impression, the stock of GPS makers such as Garmin and TomTom more or less have hit the deck, and Mashable’s article on the release was passed around like hotcakes at a Sunday brunch buffet. While we have no doubt that Google’s new beta map app will change the face of humanity forever, this announcement prompted us take a look at other web innovations that have revolutionized the way we interact with the world around us. While we think that Google Maps Navigation will certainly be huge, it might never eclipse the following five internet advances.
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Tags: Google, GPS
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10/29/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Industry
Since the emergence of social media, people have been positively vibrating about its potential. The possibility for growth is endless. But, until there’s a tangible benefit to its application, it’s understandably hard to justify investment in this sort of promotion. With a distinct formula developing for social media success, the question is not ‘Will it work?’ but rather ‘What’s it worth?’ Oliver Blanchard of The BrandBuilder Blog breaks it down into simple terms, giving citizens of the realtime web something to chew on.
From Blanchard’s presentation and Mashable’s elaboration on the idea of measuring ROI of social media, it’s clear that the end goal is to justify the profitability of social media. Metrics for popularity laid over a corresponding increase in, say, online sales is pretty good proof that it’s working. Read the rest of this entry »
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10/28/09 - Posted by Christopher Reinhard under Gossip, Music
In a triumphant posthumous return to the trending topics, Michael Jackson reared his beautifully-singing head on the social web when chatter about the release of his film biography reminded everyone just how influential his passing was. The new picture documents the life of the icon, along with (very) recent footage of Jackson prepping for his massive one-city stand in London (which this writer had tickets to, dammit).
In addition to several relevant celebrities, the premier of This Is It drew over 1.8 million online viewers which, at the price of $11 a move ticket (yeah, that’s what they cost now), translates to almost $20 million in revenues alone. It seems that the film will likely put a miniature dent in the debt left to Jackson’s family, and based on reviews, will give the public a chance to remember the pop icon in a positive light–Which is obviously the goal of Joe Jackson, the world’s first and only altruist.
Tags: Michael Jackson, Movies, Music
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10/27/09 - Posted by Jennifer Hodges under Because We Feel Like it
Citizens of the realtime web are patrons of the present. They’re always up on the newest gadgets, latest headlines, juiciest rumors—getting fresh content as it emerges, and looking towards the future. However today those realtimers must have been feeling a little nostalgic, as the social web started swapping memories of when #WhenWeWereYoung. From fond recollections of sneakers with lights in them, or the words to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle theme-song, mini blasts from the pasts were sent out in a consistent stream throughout the day. While some people obviously didn’t “get it” and expressed their confusion as to why a “Killers” song was trending, most were quick to join in on the reminiscent bandwagon. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: 80's, raisins, Trends
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10/27/09 - Posted by Evan Kessler under Sports
The end of October is almost without a doubt the most exciting time in sports. Football season is in full swing, hockey freshly underway, and today we find ourselves on the verge of both the World Series and the NBA season. We’d like to think the fall classic between the Yanks and Phillies has captured the hearts and minds, (not to mention keyboards,) of the social web, but instead it’s the premiere tip-off that has realtime net denizens searching up a storm. Roundball’s regular season kicks off with a slate of four games including Kobe and Co starting their title defense against the crosstown Clippers. While there’s been renewed optimism on the side of the perennially cursed Clips, the squad led by usually puzzled Coach and GM Mike Dunleavy has enjoyed an overflow of support from unlikely sources. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: Basketball, Clippers, Lakers
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10/26/09 - Posted by Abdullah Saeed under Music
We here at OneRiot love the idea of a good ‘collaboration’, and there’s no better incarnation of the c-word than a supergroup. Today, it came to our attention that there was such a group a-brewin’ when we noticed the massive realtime response to the term ‘New Fang‘. So we did what we do, and aimed our massive, cannon-like OneRiot trend-detector at this little bit of text and found that Them Crooked Vultures were in our midst, with Queens of the Stone Age and Led Zeppelin fans alike chattering over their new single.
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